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“Hey Gracie, you have a minute?”
She stops reading and sets her book down on the bench. I swear the girl spends more time reading than anything else.
“I’ll always have time for you, Ash. What's going on?” She looks up at me, smiling. I swear I fell in love with that smile before I even met her.Why is she staring at me? Oh, right, say something back, stupid.
“I was just wondering if you might want to go to a movie this weekend without Mia. Just the two of us—like a date?” Whew, I got that out maybe a tad too fast and a little mumbled, but I did it. I stare at the ground for a few breaths before looking up. Her smile gets even bigger, if that's possible.
She giggles and replies, “Ash, I’d love to, but why do you look like you're about to be sick? Have you eaten anything? I made some cookies last night. Want to share them with me?”
I lied; I didn't fall in love with her the day I saw her smile for the first time. Today, March thirteenth, is the day I fell in love with Gracelyn Nicole Rose and knew my life would forever be changed. She’s the sweetest girl in the whole world.
If I’d only knownhow much things would change, would I have asked her out? Honestly, I just don’t know.
“Ashton? Are you there? Did you butt-dial me again?”Bianca snaps.
Fuck. I got lost in my head… again. This can’t keep happening. Gracie is dead to me now. The past is now exactly that… the past.
“No, I'm here—got distracted. I want you under the bleachers in three minutes. I need to put your mouth to work. If you're late, I'll call Tinsley.”
I don't wait for her reply, hitting the disconnect button a little harder than required. Damn, this girl has really gotten under my skin. I don’t want to say her name; she already has too much power over me. She always has. I need to just fuck her out of my system.
Relaxing back into my seat, I continue the drive to school but can’t resist a final glance in my rearview mirror. I let out a relieved breath.
She's not there. Maybe I imagined the whole love tap. I mean, hate tap. Or even better, maybe I killed her and don’t remember. My shoulders feel even heavier with that lie, and I tense, knowing the truth.
She's back, and this is just the beginning, even if she doesn't remember me. ‘Supposedly,’ she has amnesia. Yeah right.This can’t be for real.That's just a great way for her to avoidconfessing to what an evil bitch she really is. She fooled us all with her sweet-as-candy smile and demeanor.
Volunteering at animal shelters and always baking extra treats to deliver to the children’s shelters. She told me she wanted to be an elementary school teacher and have a house full of our kids too.
I shake my head before I can even think about what our future could have been. I have spent enough time these last few months agonizing over every little moment we spent together. Trying to find the truth within the lies.
But everything is fucked up now, and it’s time to move on.
I swore on Mia’s grave that I would make Gracie’s life hell, and that’s what I’m going to do. She’ll pay for everything she's done. I will cause her destruction even if I go down too.
She may have been the love of my life once—my soulmate—but that time is gone. How can I have a mate when I no longer have a soul?
ChapterThree
Shaking off whatever happened back there, I continue on to school, but something is nagging me. Maybe a memory or a feeling, but when I looked into that boy’s eyes, I felt like I knew him. Like he was someone important to me.
Seeing all that hurt and what looked like betrayal shining back at me makes me sad, confused, and so angry. Man, these mood swings are going to kill me. Some days I really wish I never woke up from that coma.
Losing my memories is probably one of the worst things to ever happen to me. Granted, I can't remember, but I'm not the only one suffering during this time. My parents, big brother Grayson, and whoever that boy was all seem just as lost as I am.
It’s a hard pill to swallow knowing that I could have done something to cause all of this.
Every night I pray to just wake up the next morning, no longer scared of my unfamiliar surroundings or the strangers who sleep down the hall from me. To stop all this pain I somehow caused. If only someone would tell me what they think happened, it might help trigger a memory. I know something went down, and they are either afraid to tell me about it or think I did something I shouldn't have.
From what I've learned about my life pre-accident, I think I can handle the information. Screw causing me more problems down the road. Having them tip-toe around me as if I'll shatter at any second just makes my anxiety and paranoia worse. I may scream if one more person censors their words around me.
Thankfully, I didn't suffer any other serious injuries. Only small cuts and abrasions besides my nasty brain damage. Though, at this point, I would probably welcome a full-body cast if it meant I had my memories back.
I just really want to remember my life from before. The good and the bad. From all the photos I've seen lately, it seems to have been a good, happy life. Well, at least until sixth grade. For some reason, I'm not allowed to see anything more recent than that year. It can cause detrimental damage to my already damaged brain, blah blah blah. Supposedly, it’s to let my brain remember on its own, but it frustrates me. After my third ‘tantrum,’ as my father calls it, I’m no longer allowed to be in the room when the doctor discusses my case.
After seeing multiple specialists and even a hypnotherapist, I feel hopeless. I’m worried that I won't ever have more than just a few flashbacks of my past.
I turn the corner at the stop sign, and the school comes into view—my school—Willows Creek Academy.
