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“I thought I was ready to have this talk with you, but I'm not. Dom will be here to get you soon. Stay away from me, Gracie. We may have been something in the past. But we will never be anything again.”
I watch as her eyes fill with tears, and my own throat gets choked up. She doesn’t even remember being together, but I do, and this feels like we’re breaking up. Getting closure.
I turn and climb back into my truck. She chases me, then steps away so I can back out. I roll my window down to say one last thing, and she rushes toward me, placing her hands inside and gripping the window sill.
“Can you just tell me one thing? Fuck the rules, fuck the extra damage to my mind. I just need to know…”
I think for a minute, then nod. Who knows, maybe it’ll help. She looks nervous and won’t meet my gaze; biting her bottom lip, she runs her fingers through her curls. Her scent washes over me again, and I swallow.
“Would Mia have ever hurt me?” she asks, and I jolt back as if she had slapped me. I know my mouth is wide open, and my hands curl around the steering wheel. She sighs, then continues.
“I have these nightmares. They don't make any sense, but I'm here, on top of that cliff.” She turns and points. “Mia and I are arguing, and then the next thing I know, I'm shoved.” She closes her eyes and laughs, rubbing her eyes, but I notice her hands shake.
She turns and gives me a fake smile. “Sorry, just ignore me. It’s just a stupid dream. Don’t worry about it.” Backing away, she gives me a weak smile. “Goodbye, Ash.” She offers me a wave, then turns and sits on a bench.
I pull away but park under a tree. I’m not really going to leave her alone. For all I know, she could still be suicidal.
I wait until I see Dom's SUV speeding past. I give him a two-finger salute, then take off.
* * *
I don't goto school and find myself back at the cemetery. I take a seat at Mia's grave and stare at the headstone. I replay what Gracie asked me over and over and think really hard. Mia had a lot of struggles, but I can’t see her ever hurting anyone. Especially Gracie.
She loved Gracie, and before I got that note, I did too. I stayed by Gracie’s side for days. I refused to leave her. Praying she’d wake up. Praying I’d see her beautiful gray eyes again and hear her laugh.
“Tristan,sweetie, you need to go home. It’s been two weeks since the accident. You can't keep showering here and sleeping in that chair. When was the last time you had a real meal, not something out of the cafeteria or vending machine? It’s time, honey. Gracie wouldn't want to see you like this. Wasting away by her bedside,” Gracie’s mom, Christine, asks from the chair next to me, taking my hand.
I sit up and rub my eyes with a yawn. “I can’t leave her. She’s all I have left. She needs me,” I whisper, my throat sore from all the talking and reading aloud I've been doing.
They say even though she's in a coma, she may be able to hear me. So I've been reading all her favorite books, reminiscing about all the times we've spent together, and talking about our future and what we will do.
“Tristan, I think…”
There’s a knock on the door. They don’t wait to be invited in. It’s Dom’s dad and uncle. They are in their police uniforms, which makes me think this isn’t a social visit.
“Ah, good, you're both here. Mrs. Rose, Ashton, some new evidence has been brought forward regarding your daughter’s accident and your sister’s death. When we searched your daughter’s things left at the scene, including her car, we found an envelope addressed to Ash…”
“Wait, me? Who is it from? Did someone do this to them?” I growl, standing from my chair, and Dom’s dad moves closer to me.
“Son, listen. Since it is considered evidence, we did open it. I’m sorry to say the contents were unsettling. You can’t remove it from the bag, but Dom would kill me if I kept this from you. You’re like my other son, and I’m here for you, okay? I’ve called Dom, if you’d like to wait? He’s on his way here now. King and Carter, too,” he tells me, moving forward to rest his hand on my shoulder.
“You’re going to have to give me a minute here, sir. I'm sleep deprived and not at full capacity right now. Why is Dom on his way here? What was in the envelope? Why would Gracie leave me something?”
Gracie’s mom gasps from beside me. “No, no, no, no, no.” She bursts into tears and runs from the room, confusing me more. What am I missing here? Dom walks in, face as white as a ghost.
“Hey, man, how are you holding up? I still can't believe it. It can't be true, right? Not Gracie.”
“Son, stop talking!” Mr. Branson snaps, cutting him off.
I stand up. I've had enough. “Give me the envelope, sir, now!” I demand. Slowly, almost as if he's trying to delay this for as long as possible, he pulls out a sealed evidence bag holding three items: the envelope, a letter, and what looks like maybe a small picture. It's black with gray on it, but I can't see it clearly right now.
“Tristan, maybe you should sit down, son, before I hand this to you.”
I don't respond; I just hold my hand out. Tentatively, he gives it to me. I wish I had never taken it because what I read completely destroyed whatever soul I may have had left.
Ash,
I’m sorry … too young … not ready … depressed … ruin your dreams … so much stress …. love you always forever and on.
