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I gathered Grace in my arms and sped us to our chamber, where I placed her on our bed, making sure she was settled before heading into our closet where I kept the majority of my weaponry.
It only took a moment to arm myself, and my jaw nearly unhinged when I came out of the closet to find Grace stumbling to her feet.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I wended to her side, catching her before she fell.
“Coming with you.” She planted her feet and stood, straightening her shoulders. “I’m useful, Ajax. I can read minds.” The plea in her eyes crushed my heart.
“I know you’re useful,” I said softly. “But there’s no way in hell that I’m taking you into a battle.”
She lifted her chin. “But Jocelyn gets to go?”
“Jocelyn isn’t just a witch, she’s ahybrid. A fully transitioned vampire, Grace.” How the hell were we having this argument? I put her back in bed as gently as I could, but she swung her legs over the side of the bedframe again.
“Which I would be if you agreed to transition me!”
“We aren’t having this argument now.” I tied my hair behind my neck to keep it out of my way.
“I can give you an...” She gritted her teeth. “Above. Better. In front…fuck!” she screamed, slamming her fist into the pillow.
The fight fell right out of me. “Advantage,” I said softly. “You could give us an advantage. But baby, as mentally strong as you are, asgiftedas you are, you’re also my one and only weakness, and I can’t focus on hunting Saint if all I care about out there is keeping you safe.”
She opened her mouth and I traced her lower lip with my thumb, silencing her.
“Believe me, if you were out there, you are all I would worry about. I need you here, Grace. I need you safe. I can’t breathe if I don’t know that you’re safe.”
She blinked back tears. “Even if I were healthy?”
I brushed her hair back behind her ears and kissed her forehead. “Even if you were a fully healthy human. This isn’t about your illness, it’s about my inability to put any mission above my love for you.”
She sagged, and I drew a full breath.
“Well, I guess when you put it that way,” she muttered.
“I love you.” I cupped her face, tilting it toward mine. “Stay here.” I kissed her beautiful mouth. “Stay safe.”
“Only for you,” she whispered.
“Thank you.” I kissed her then, long and hard, pouring every ounce of feeling into the melding of our mouths. We were both panting when I lifted my head. “I love you, Grace.”
“I love you,” she whispered. “Just promise you’ll come back in one piece.”
“Oh, baby,” I grinned and stole another kiss. “That is one thing you never have to worry about.” I glanced at her mouth one last time and then strode out of the room before I did something stupid, like let Saint down so I could stay with Grace.
I couldn’t keep her alive.
But I could help my brother get the justice he deserved.
18
GRACE
It was amazing what a twenty-minute power nap could do for a girl. Or maybe it was just the latest meeting with Gabriel that had given me the energy boost, but either way, I was rolling with it.
I’d fallen asleep right after Ajax had left with the others to help Saint on the latest Samuel-focused mission, and while I was worried about him, I knew he’d come back to me. I wished I could say the same for myself. Gabriel’s prognosis was harrowing for sure, but it was nothing I hadn’t already been mentally preparing for. It sucked, and if I let myself think about it too long, let myself think about the pain that Ajax would suffer when I finally left this plane…God, if I could spare him that suffering, I would in a heartbeat.
Sitting in bed with pent-up energy made me entirely too restless, and if I were being honest, I would rather hear anyone else’s thoughts but my own at that moment. After slipping on some yoga pants and a long-sleeved tee, pulling my hair back in a messy top-knot, I’d headed toward the most popular haunt this time of evening—the informal dining room. For some reason, I actually had an appetite. I hated that thinking that this sudden burst of energy and hunger could mean the worst—that I was transitioning into the last hurrah stage of my life—but the thought was there all the same.
Ignoring it, I focused on my hunt for those muffins the baker constantly piled on the wide table in the dining room. Walking through Alek’s mansion never ceased to amaze me—it was gorgeous and massive yet had such a homey atmosphere I couldn’t help but feel like I belonged here. And the certainty that I wouldn’t be able to have a future here with Ajax made me bubble with anger at the unfairness of it all.
