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But I hadn’t truly considered the repercussions of private classes.
I was no longer needing to find another woman in the class to pair up with when we needed to execute moves. Instead, I was paired up with Kane, and he seemed all too eager to be the only person to train with me.
Suffice it to say, I didn’t know how much longer I could last.
He was entirely professional when he was teaching me, but I couldn’t lie. I loved it whenever he had to touch me, or vice versa.
I was supposed to be remaining focused on learning how to defend myself, and all I wanted to do was keep myself wrapped up in Kane’s arms half the time. I’d experienced several moments of weakness, where I’d just barely managed to stop myself from throwing my body to the ground and telling him to have his way with me.
Fortunately, I narrowly escaped that temptation each time.
“Alright, let’s try it one more time before we call it quits for today,” Kane said.
I took in a deep breath.
Just one more time.
It should have been no big deal. One more. Just one more. But we’d done this for nearly an hour now, and I wasn’t sure how much more a girl was supposed to endure.
Kane had decided to teach me how to escape with my hands trapped. Essentially, it was similar to a bear hug attack, but without as much mobility in my arms. For a traditional bear hug attack, Kane would come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist. I would then have to execute a series of defensive moves to free myself from him to get away.
Those had been difficult enough to handle.
The attack we were working on today was far worse. The reason for it had little to do with the techniques he was teaching or my ability to utilize the moves to get out of the hold and everything to do with how he had to set up for it.
Instead of Kane’s arms needing to be wrapped around my waist, he came up behind me, wrapped his arms around my upper arms, and crossed them in front of my chest.
Maybe in a situation involving Patrick or one of his men, I would have had no problem executing the moves or feeling differently about it, but when it was Kane doing it, I never felt unsafe.
If anything, this particular hold had me fighting every urge to drop my head back against his chest while I bent my arms at my elbows so my hands could curl my fingers around his forearms.
That feeling. That desire.
It was so new and unfamiliar, and yet, it was everything I not only knew that I wanted, but also everything I needed.
Maybe that was the reason I kept going back for more. Even if I’d only ever execute the defensive moves—both literally and figuratively—there wasn’t a chance I didn’t want to experience more of it.
And that was dangerous.
For me.
For Kane.
Even still, I stared him in the eye and agreed, “Okay. One more time.”
He smiled at me. “Good. Come on over here and turn around.”
As I moved in his direction, I pointed out, “You aren’t really helping here.”
His brows pulled together. “I’m not helping? You’ve learned so much. What are you talking about?”
A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. I watched as his eyes dropped to my lips before I noted, “I don’t think most attackers smile at their victims. I’m just saying that it’s hard to feel afraid when you’re so kind in your methods.”
When I came to a stop in front of him, his eyes roamed over my face. I didn’t know what he was looking for, nor was I aware whether he’d found it. Eventually, he said, “I’ll teach you all that you need to know, but I’m not sure I’ve got it in me to make you genuinely fearful, Ellery. That would go against everything I stand for as a man.”
“I like it,” I blurted.
“What?”
