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He’d shown it in all the ways that mattered while he was alive, and he showed it in all the ways that were possible after he died.
I looked around my tiny home, and everywhere I looked, I saw him. It wasn’t that I’d put his tastes into the space or that I had a bunch of pictures of him all around. I saw him because this wouldn’t have been possible without him.
Following his devastating death, Saul had left his fortune to the three of us. It was more money than I had ever had in my life, but I would have given it up in a heartbeat if it meant that I could have him back.
He’d taught me so much, and I was grateful for not only each and every lesson, but also for the kindness and compassion he’d shown me from the very start. He had given me a chance at a real life. He’d made it possible for me to have this, and there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t remember that and try to put that same kindness into the world.
Life could be cruel, but it could also be kind.
I’d experienced my fair share of both, and while there was no question that Archie and Garrett had shown me kindness for the first time in my life, it was Saul’s compassion that had impacted me the most.
Because I didn’t deserve what he’d done for me, not when I’d played the role I did in stealing from him.
Thinking back on all that he’d done to change my life, I felt a bit of guilt start to creep in. I wondered how proud he’d be of me now, knowing that I’d allowed myself to drift so far apart from Whitney and Xavier.
Maybe he would have expected it. At least with Xavier. Whitney and I had gotten along from the start, but when it all boiled down, Xavier was her blood relative. I hadn’t ever wanted to cause tension between the two of them, especially without having Saul around.
“Regrettably, I haven’t had much contact with you or Xavier in recent years,” I started. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that, Whitney.”
“It’s okay,” she insisted. “Life was hard after Saul. Xavier and I struggled with it, too. I have to admit I worried more about you, because at least he and I always had each other.”
Guilty wasn’t even the right word to describe how I felt. I’d invited them here after I’d gotten the land, had the first three homes built, and had the activity center put up. I wanted them to see that I’d done something good and useful with the money Saul left. I didn’t have the resources he did to do what he’d done for us, but I had a way to offer people a place to stay. Yes, I needed to charge for it, but I did what I could to keep the costs reasonable, because I knew how difficult it was for some people. I’d been one of them.
I should have done more to stay in touch with the people who meant the most to the man who’d changed my life the way Saul had. Of course, I wasn’t entirely sure that Xavier would have been receptive to the idea. I never managed to work out precisely why he hated me, only able to make assumptions about it. In the beginning, I had assumed it was him being a moody teenager, but when his mood or attitude never improved toward me, I stopped making the effort.
Drifting apart the way we all had only seemed natural, even if tragic.
“I managed okay,” I told her. “But what about Xavier? How has everything been for him lately? He hasn’t had any problems with anyone, has he?”
There was an extended silence as Whitney, I assumed, tried to think back over all that she could recall happening in Xavier’s life lately. It took her some time, but eventually, she said, “I can’t think of anything. He was Xavier. You know him. He had his opinions on things, but when it all boiled down, he was a good man. I couldn’t have asked for a better brother.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. I felt so heartbroken, so I knew this was utterly devastating for Whitney.
“I wish I knew what to say or how to help,” I admitted. “This just doesn’t feel real.”
“I keep telling Aiden the same thing,” she replied. “Just when I think I’ve gotten to a place where Saul’s death doesn’t haunt me every day, this happens.”
I had to stand up and do something for her. My heart and my mind were grieving, but Xavier and Whitney shared blood. There was no doubt this wasn’t easy for her. And considering they didn’t have any other family, I knew she was struggling to cope.
“Whatever you need, Whit, I’m here for you,” I told her. “I’ll help you plan the funeral and take care of all the necessary arrangements. We’ll get through this.”
“Thanks, Hanna. I appreciate that. I’ll probably do something very small and private, but I don’t know when, because his body is with the coroner right now. They are trying to…” she trailed off.
“I know,” I said, not needing the additional explanation. This was already far too difficult as it was. I couldn’t imagine putting her through having to have that vision in her mind of what would happen to his body. It was bad enough to know how he had died. She didn’t need to guess or consider what was going to happen now that they needed to find answers. “I’ll call you tomorrow to check in, but if you need me before then, or if you hear anything from anyone about what happened to him, I’d love to hear from you.”
“I promise I’ll call you as soon as I hear anything,” she returned. “Thank you for reaching out to me. And even though I know the two of you weren’t always on the best of terms, I’m sorry for your loss, too.”
A bit of warmth moved through me, the first I’d felt since I turned on the television and heard the horrific news.
“Thanks, Whitney.”
“Yeah. We’ll talk soon.”
“Okay. I’ll call tomorrow.”
With that, Whitney and I said goodbye to one another and disconnected our call. Breaking that connection with her wasn’t easy, but I was comforted by the fact that she wasn’t alone and had Aiden there with her.
As for me, I struggled.
