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Considering I wasn’t exactly torn up about what happened to him, I didn’t think it was necessary to burden Whitney with that news. The likelihood was that she already knew anyway. It wasn’t like we had regular weekly killings in Steel Ridge, so even the news of Jimmy’s murder had sent a shock wave through the town.
“I think you’re right,” she murmured. “Somehow, doing this today, I thought I might feel better, but I don’t. It just feels so… unfinished.”
Nodding my understanding, I agreed, “Yeah, I can see why you’d feel that way, and I don’t blame you. Stay on top of them as best you can, and continue to check in with them.”
“I will.”
My eyes roamed over her face. “I hate to even think about leaving you right now.”
She offered a half-hearted smile. “I’ll be alright, Hanna,” she assured me. “In fact, Aiden wants to take me away for a few days. We’re not going anywhere fancy. He just wants me to have a couple days away to clear my head and try to heal my heart a little bit.”
I returned the smile. “That sounds like a great idea. I’m so glad you have him by your side through this. It seems like he’s doing all the right things for you.”
Whitney twisted her neck and looked behind her. Aiden was standing there, patiently waiting for her. “Yeah, he’s been great. I don’t know what I would have done without him.”
“Well, I won’t keep you or him waiting any longer,” I started. “Take the time you need away from here, and I’ll see you when you get back. Okay?”
She nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“And if you hear anything or need anything from me before then, don’t hesitate to reach out,” I urged her.
“I will. You do the same, Hanna.”
With that, I opened my arms and wrapped them around her again. After giving her one more hug, I stepped back, said goodbye, and walked away to my car.
Then I spent my drive back to my place thinking about the promise I’d made to Whitney and myself today, and how coming here for this had changed my entire perspective.
Xavier’s funeral service forced me to take a long, hard look at my life.
Saul was gone. Xavier was gone. And even though I felt no sadness over it, Jimmy was also gone.
Life was fleeting.
In the moments that I felt nothing but devastation when I learned about each of their deaths, I’d been alone.
There was nobody with me.
I had no shoulder to cry on. Unlike Whitney, I had nobody there to take me away for a few days to just clear my head and heal my heart a bit.
If I didn’t find a way to break out of my shell, to trust men again, and to surround myself with good people, I was going to live a sad, lonely life.
That’s not what I wanted for myself.
That’s not what Saul would have wanted for me.
And even if it had been a lot of years and a bit of a heartbreak among us, it wasn’t what Archie or Garrett would have wanted for me.
So, I had to try.
I had to start giving myself the opportunity to find friends and maybe even something more than that, something special.
The best way I could think to do that also included keeping the people I did have in my life close to me. Whitney, Xavier, and I might have lost our way after Saul passed, but Whitney and I were the only two left of our little family.
We had to hold on to one another. So, when she returned, I promised myself that I’d reach out to her and make the effort to spend more time with her. And until she got back, I had plenty of other work to do so I could help fix the mess I’d made of things in my life.
It was game night.
Every week, I hosted a game night at the tiny home community I’d built. Sadly, more often than I cared to admit, nobody showed.
