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But that changed a couple of months ago when I met Ellery.
She’d come for an extended stay in one of the homes, and during her very first week there, she joined me for a game night.
The two of us had become fast friends, and even though her life had turned around in the best way possible for her, ultimately leading her out of that tiny home, she still came back and joined me for game night on occasion.
Considering the events of the last few weeks, I desperately needed this time with her. Because even though I still had reservations about sharing everything that had happened, I still believed I had plenty I could discuss. And knowing so much about what she’d endured for so long and how she’d taken action to change the course of her life, I couldn’t think of anyone more equipped to offer advice to me.
So, I was going to take full advantage of my time with her tonight, and I had a feeling Ellery was going to be more than happy to discuss it with me. And since nobody else had joined us for game night, it was the perfect time.
Given that we’d worked through most of the games I’d had on hand over the last several weeks, we’d decided that instead of playing an actual game tonight, we were going to do a puzzle. It really was the perfect set-up for me to confide a bit in her.
The two of us had just dumped out all of the pieces and were sorting through them to get the frame built first when I asked, “So, how are things going with you and Kane?”
“They’re great,” she answered. “He’s honestly the best guy in the world.”
I grinned at her. “I’m so glad you came here and found him. Sometimes, I think back to how you were that very first time you walked in here and compare it to how I see you now, and there’s a night and day difference. He’s really made you so happy.”
Her face, already bright with happiness, lit up even more. “I’m so lucky, and I make sure to remember that every day. I never want to take him for granted.”
Tipping my head to the side, I said, “I don’t think that’ll happen.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” she replied through her laughter.
For the next few minutes, we focused our efforts on the puzzle. We’d gotten a good chunk of the frame built when I decided it was time. “How did you do it?”
“Do what?” she asked.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I’m curious how you finally decided to just get up and get yourself out of the situation you were in?” I clarified. “I mean, I understand it was a dire situation, but where did you find the courage?”
Ellery lifted her gaze to mine, and she assessed me. I thought she was going to ask me why I wanted to know, but she didn’t. Instead, she returned, “There were two reasons.”
“Two?”
She dipped her chin and confirmed, “Two. The obvious one was that I was in that dire situation. If I didn’t get out, I didn’t think he was going to let me live. But the other reason, the one that’s not so obvious, is that I wanted to live my own dreams. I’d given up on all the things I wanted to do and have in my life when I was just nineteen years old. I lost eight years of my life, and I didn’t like the way that felt.”
Maybe Ellery and I were more alike than I had initially thought. I’d left the dire situation I’d been in when I walked out of my mother’s house all those years ago and got away from her and Jimmy. For so many years, I focused on survival, and then Saul came into my life and I didn’t know what struggle was. At least, not in the financial sense.
But now I struggled in a completely different way.
It was so hard for me to open up to others. It was especially difficult for me to do with men, and while I found it easier to talk to women, I still had a tough time putting myself out there. Even with Ellery, I was holding back.
“I don’t know if I could have ever done it,” I declared.
“Gotten away like I did?” she countered.
I shook my head. “No. No, I’m confident I could do that. It’s the part where you endured all that you did, and you still somehow managed to find a way to open your heart up to Kane. That’s the part of it that’s the most surprising to me.”
“He made it impossible not to,” she explained.
I could feel the crease form between my brows. “What? What does that mean?”
A smile formed on her face again. “I promised myself I was going to come here and do what I needed to do to keep myself safe. I was going to take the steps necessary to learn how to protect and defend myself, and I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of stopping me from doing that. Kane didn’t stop me from doing it, and completely encouraged me the whole way through, but he didn’t make it easy for me to not be distracted by him.”
“Weren’t you scared?”
“Scared?”
I put the final piece in the frame of the puzzle and explained, “Scared of doing something that might land you in a position where you could be hurt again.”
