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My shoulders fell as disappointment moved through me. “Right. I understand.”
“I’m really sorry,” he apologized.
I shook my head. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”
His thumb stroked gently along my skin, and the silence stretched between us. “You’re disappointed,” he eventually said.
I was.
I was disappointed. I was frustrated.
I missed my husband.
I missed the man I’d fallen in love with.
Pulling my hand away, I lifted it up and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. Then I crossed my arms over my chest and replied, “Of course, I am. I miss spending time with you. But there’s nothing we can do about it now, right?”
“I wish I could,” he remarked.
If nothing else, I did believe that. Johnny and I might not have had the time we needed with each other right now, but I didn’t once peg him for a liar. He didn’t say things he didn’t mean, and he’d always been honest with me.
“I know,” I murmured. “I should go, so you can get back to work.”
“Okay. I should be home at the usual time,” he said. After he stood and pressed a kiss to my cheek, he added, “I’m going to try my best to get this project done as quickly as possible. Once I get through with this, if you aren’t back on planning another event, we’ll plan something special.”
I smiled at him to indicate that I liked the idea, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. This is how things had been for a while. It felt like we were both constantly treading water for a while as new business owners did in the beginning.
On the one hand, we didn’t have anywhere near the demand for our services that we did now, which worked to our advantage when it came to our relationship. But with our businesses in their infancy back then, we went above and beyond to make a name for ourselves.
It worked.
And now, we were both so busy with work that our relationship had taken a back seat. Frustrating wasn’t even the word to describe how it felt.
We kept having these moments where we’d both recognize we needed more time together, but for some reason, we couldn’t manage to make it happen.
“That sounds wonderful, Johnny.”
“You don’t sound convinced,” he noted.
Offering a look of indifference, I asked, “What do you want me to say? I think you and I both know that we can have good intentions to make time for one another, but we never manage to follow through. The sentiment is nice, but it’s the action that I want.”
“What? You think I don’t want the action?” he fired back, doing it with a bit of a teasing tone.
I rolled my eyes. Of course he was going to find a way to make a joke about it and turn the conversation to sex.
“Oh, I know you do,” I assured him.
“You say that like you don’t,” he declared.
How was I supposed to respond to that? I loved being intimate with Johnny. We were great together in bed, and I always felt fulfilled, but I’d have been lying if I said that sex was all I needed in our relationship. In fact, I’d have given up the sex in order to have the quality time with him. But there was no doubt in my mind that Johnny was the very opposite. He enjoyed spending quality time with me, but if given the choice, it’d be the physical relationship that was most important to him.
Not wanting him to think I didn’t enjoy being with him like that, I insisted, “I love it, Johnny.”
He smiled at me, lifted his hand to the side of my face, and stroked his thumb gently over the apple of my cheek. “I love you, Kiera. It’s going to get better.”
Nodding, I returned the smile and said, “I love you, too.”
Johnny gave me a peck on the lips before he dropped his hand to my hip and gave me a squeeze. “I’ll see you tonight.”
