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Simon went on to say something that resulted in Margot firing back at him, but I couldn’t pay attention to any of it. My attention shifted to Kiera, and it seemed she had the same thought as I did at that time. Because our eyes locked, and it became obvious that she was struggling with what to do to entice me when she knew where things were for us.
I had to make this better for her.
While I didn’t shout or even raise my voice with the intention of anyone hearing, I wasn’t whispering to her, either.
“You don’t have to do anything extra to try to distract me but stand there and play the game, Kiera,” I told her. “I was sidetracked the minute I saw you this morning.”
Something flashed in her eyes, but I couldn’t work out exactly what it was. She could have been relieved that I’d said something to let her off the hook, but it was also entirely possible she was horrified I’d say something like that when I knew where things stood between us.
It seemed I’d never know, either, because Margot took charge, grabbed the ball, and prepared to serve it.
For the next two hours or so, the ten of us played three games. The girls won the first one, and by the second, the guys had built up some immunity to the women’s tactics and managed to win by a narrow margin. The third game was the tiebreaker, and with two teammates who were extremely competitive in the sport and my heart not being completely into what was happening, it was no surprise the women pulled off the win.
Kiera seemed to enjoy herself, and for me, that had been the win that mattered the most to me. Any of the uneasiness and tension she’d had written all over her face was gone by the time we got about halfway through the first game.
I loved seeing that change in her, but it certainly forced me to take a long, hard look at all that was missing in my life.
Her laughter.
Her happiness.
Just… Kiera.
If I hadn’t already been feeling enough regret, what happened next would have solidified it for me.
Zac and Talia had rented a beach cabana, and we all gathered underneath to have lunch. I hadn’t taken much notice of how much she ate yesterday at dinner, but I did today during lunch.
And it had become painfully obvious.
Kiera ate enough that she didn’t draw anyone’s attention, but she didn’t eat the way I knew she would have if things weren’t the way they were between us. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it, and it was possible she’d have a few choice words for me later, but I decided to do something about it.
I grabbed a chicken wrap in each hand, turned, held one out to her, and said, “Baby, can you take this while I grab some watermelon for you?”
There was a stunned look on her face. “I… you don’t have to get me any watermelon. I already had something to eat.”
I tipped my head to the side, well aware of the fact that the others were standing around, even if they weren’t paying attention to us. “But it’s your favorite,” I said. “I want you to have your favorite.”
Kiera hesitated. I held my breath, wondering if she was going to let me have it. I only breathed a sigh of relief when she stepped forward and took the wrap. After loading up some watermelon, I moved back toward Kiera and sat down beside her.
She held the wrap out to me.
Shaking my head, I explained, “That’s for you. We’ll split the watermelon.”
Narrowing her eyes, she said, “I don’t—”
“Eat,” I ordered, leaning in and dropping my voice, so nobody else would hear. “I’m not going to stand around and watch you starve yourself, Kiera. You’ve lost too much fucking weight.”
In an instant, her eyes filled with tears, and she had to look away from me. Fortunately, everyone else was preoccupied with food and conversation that they didn’t notice, and Kiera could take the time she needed to pull herself together.
She didn’t look at me again, and it was very likely she’d murder me when we returned to our room, but Kiera lifted the wrap to her mouth and ate. I didn’t care if she decided to spend the rest of the night yelling at me for doing what I did. The only thing that mattered to me was that she didn’t get sick from being malnourished.
I’d fucked up enough over the last several months with her. I’d overlooked too many things and allowed too much to fall to the wayside when it came to my wife.
That stopped now.
Maybe there was no hope for us in the romantic sense moving forward, but I had to fix what I’d broken inside of her before we were officially over.
Because no matter what happened up to this point or what would happen months down the road, Kiera was still the love of my life.
