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Granted, I knew that’s what I was, but hearing him say it like that while ordering an appetizer for us to share when we hadn’t had a single meal together in months caught me off guard.
“You’ve got it. Is that all?” she questioned him.
Johnny looked at me. “Did you want anything else?”
I shook my head and shifted my attention to the waitress. It felt like a much safer bet to address her. “Nothing else. Thank you.”
She gave us a quick nod and moved along. I looked at Johnny momentarily and saw something in his expression, but I didn’t know quite what it was. What I did manage to figure out was that he was continuing with his need to make sure I was eating enough. If only I hadn’t been bamboozled by hearing him pleasuring himself in the shower earlier, I would have easily told him precisely how I felt about him trying to be concerned with what I was putting in my mouth.
When the appetizer arrived, I didn’t even reach for one of the eggs. I figured I’d leave him to them, and that would show him where I stood. But then, after Johnny had eaten one, he lifted another and said, “Oh, Kiera, you’ve got to try these. They’re so good.”
He held the egg up to my mouth, leaving me with no choice but to part my lips and accept it from him. As I chewed, I watched Johnny’s eyes remain focused on my mouth, forcing my belly to dip again.
“Delicious, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice low.
I licked the corner of my mouth before I replied, “Yeah. It’s really good.”
“That’s what I want, Zac.”
At Talia’s declaration that was loud enough to carry down to our end of the table, I tore my gaze from Johnny and looked over at her. She had her attention on Zac, who replied, “What do you want?”
She pointed at Johnny and me and said, “That. After what? Eight years? They’re still so love, and Johnny’s feeding her an appetizer.”
My throat became painfully tight, and it took everything in me to press my lips together and force a smile.
Zac gave us a brief look, but he quickly turned his attention back to Talia, leaned in, and whispered something to her. I watched as a shiver ran down her spine, and I knew that whatever he’d said made her feel good.
Of course, as wonderful as they felt about it, I was struggling. Because I’d gotten a taste. Not of the appetizer Johnny was feeding me, but of the life and kind of relationship we once had.
Johnny holding my hand.
Johnny feeding me.
Johnny looking at my mouth like he wanted to devour it.
It was no wonder I had to fight so hard to keep my focus on the conversation throughout the rest of dinner.
I’d managed to do a fairly decent job of it until it came time for dessert. When the waitress got to me, I turned it down. I was already so full from eating so much of the entrée, as well as the appetizer Johnny insisted on, that I couldn’t imagine taking another bite of anything.
But Johnny had other plans. “We’re going to share the triple berry pie,” he said.
My head snapped in his direction, and he offered a gorgeous smile. It blew my mind how effortless all of this pretending seemed to be for him. It just came naturally, which was technically a good thing for the sake of our friends, but it honestly broke my heart.
Fortunately, I hadn’t needed to worry about Johnny feeding me any dessert, because our server had delivered it with two spoons. Even if I hadn’t wanted to share it with him, even if I didn’t want it at all, I took a few bites just to avoid having him lift his spoon to my mouth.
On the bright side, it was very delicious, so at least I didn’t have to power my way through a few bites of something mediocre. Then again, I had a feeling Johnny ordered the specific dessert he did, because he knew that if I had ordered one from the start, the triple berry pie would have been it.
By the time dinner was over, it was fair to say I’d eaten more than I’d had in a single sitting in the last six months. And in the midst of battling against all that Johnny was making me feel, I did manage to concentrate long enough on Zac and Talia’s plans for the group today.
If I’d had any thoughts about yesterday being a trying day, they didn’t compare to what I felt about today. And while they’d chosen to have us all go and do something that I, if I’d been in a different place with Johnny, would have wanted to do, excited even, it wasn’t the case today.
Because we were going jet skiing.
I was terrified.
Having him hold my hand had nearly sent me over the edge. Jet skiing was going to mean extremely close contact with him, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it.
Worst of all, there was no way I could have requested my own jet ski and not have it seem unusual. We’d all arrived, received the instructions, and each couple was pairing up on their own jet ski.
