Page 58 of Crave the Love


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What wouldherlife be like after this? Would she find love again? Would someone take better care of her than I had? I wanted her to have the world, and instead of being the man to give it to her, I only left her disappointed and heartbroken.

I didn’t know what made me do it then, but before I could bring myself to walk out of her bedroom, I stroked the back of my finger along her cheek and whispered, “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to hurt you, Kiera. I wish I could find a way to fix this and make you trust me again. I’ll never forgive myself for letting you down and destroying what we had.”

Knowing I wasn’t going to be able to control my emotions, feeling this undeniable magnetic pull to touch my lips to hers, I stood and walked out.

I tossed and turned all night long.

The clock kept ticking, and it was all I could do to get up, so I could attempt to face another day of longing, regret, and desperation.

Having gotten myself ready, I got up and walked out of the bedroom. Kiera was standing in the kitchen, rummaging through her bag.

She looked up and offered a small smile. That was progress, even if I knew it didn’t mean what I wanted it to mean. The truth was, the two of us were likely coming to a place where we both knew we were getting closer and closer to the end. Maybe, even if she wasn’t feeling the same as I was, Kiera wanted it to be amicable between us.

After all the disappointment and betrayal I’d forced her to feel, I had to give her this. So, I smiled back and said, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Johnny.”

I was never going to hear that voice saying my name again in the morning after this weekend. I had to beat this back.

“All set to have a day of doing nothing?” I asked.

She let out a soft laugh. “I get the feeling the gang is going to find a way to liven things up. They always do.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Are you ready to go?”

Nodding, she answered, “Yes, I just double checked to make sure I have everything in my bag.”

Zac and Talia had planned a pool day today at one of the resort’s four pools, followed by a nice dinner and dancing later tonight. Tomorrow, all of the couples in the bridal party had most of the day to ourselves, because Zac and Talia were going to be meeting up with family, who’d be arriving for the wedding this weekend.

The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner would be later in the day and run into the evening, and finally the wedding and reception would take place the day afterward. The likelihood was that Kiera was going to be tied up with all of the last-minute wedding preparations, so it was entirely possible that I wasn’t going to be able to spend a whole lot of time with her, unless it was part of the schedule.

If there was any chance of making something happen, I was going to need to make it happen quickly. And it was going to have to be memorable and meaningful if it was going to have an impact. I just wasn’t quite sure yet what I was going to do.

I moved to the door, opened it, and waved my hand in front of me to urge Kiera to walk through it. Normally, I would have taken her by the hand and led her outside, but since none of our friends were around us, and we were just days away from our official separation, I didn’t think doing that would help my cause.

By the time we made it to the pool, the rest of our friends were already there, and they didn’t hesitate to make their assumptions about our arrival being the last.

“So, either you two were up late last night and slept in this morning, or you woke up early and got sidetracked on your way here,” Talia declared.

“Or, maybe it was both,” Saylor suggested. “That’s not out of the realm of possibility with these two, you know?”

Fuck.

They had no idea how much I wished what they were saying was true. If that had been on the table for us, there wasn’t a question in my mind that I’d have definitely been taking advantage of both scenarios.

For just a moment, I wondered how our friends would have reacted if they knew the truth. I wondered if they’d even believe us if we were honest with them about it.

As Kiera and I made our final approach without confirming or denying any of the speculative comments and grabbed seats beside everyone at the pool, Thea intimated, “I bet Kiera was just doing her bit to convince Johnny like the rest of us had to do with our guys.”

My brows drew together. Kiera hadn’t attempted to convince me of anything. Not, of course, that I had expected she would have used sex as a means to convince me of anything at this point.

“Convince me?” I repeated.

“You mean, Kiera hasn’t asked you yet?” Zac questioned me.

I glanced at Kiera, saw the worry in her face, and knew this wasn’t going to be good. “What did you need to ask me?” I wondered, hoping that my voice indicated she could do it now, and I’d do whatever I had to do to cover for us, if whatever it was would reveal the truth about our current relationship status.

Uneasiness washed over her, and she looked at the rest of the group when she replied, “I just… well, it didn’t even cross my mind.”

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