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That’s when it happened. My chest heaving with my shallow breaths, the painful ache in my heart, and the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach all culminated in a disastrous show. My body began to shake, my knees weakened, and the room started spinning.
Johnny must have realized that something wasn’t right. He stepped toward me and spoke. “Kiera.”
His voice held a mix of fear and warning.
I shook my head. He was going to try to hold me, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t allow him to touch me, or I’d lose the last of my resolve.
“Kiera,” he called again, as I backed away from him.
When I could go no farther, I lost it. “No,” I begged. “Please don’t.”
I could just barely register the devastation on his face. “I’m sorry, baby.”
I shook my head as he reached out for me, and the moment his fingertips touched me again, I gave him one last fight.
I pulled my arm away, and I pressed my palms forcefully into his chest as I continued to plead with him. “Please leave me alone. Don’t do this. I can’t do it anymore.”
“I know,” he said, his tone calm and soothing.
My hands shoved his chest, but he remained steady on his feet, not budging an inch. I pounded them against him, and he took it, never once wavering. And when I nearly collapsed out of frustration and exhaustion, he caught me in his arms and held me against him.
All I could do was cry.
I broke down again, this time far worse than it had been when I first arrived at the villa. I let it all out—months of heartbreak, devastation, and despair.
Whatever was happening around me, I didn’t know. All I knew was that I eventually caved, allowing Johnny to hold me, while I gripped his shirt fiercely in my hands.
I cried.
I cried and cried and cried.
And I never wanted to let him go.
So, I didn’t.
I held on when he lifted me in his arms and ushered me into the bedroom. I held on while he laid us both down on the bed, the front of my body pressed tight against his. And I held on while he stroked his fingers through my hair, alternating between whispering soft words and pressing tender kisses to the top of my head.
Even if I knew that a new day would eventually dawn and I’d ultimately have to let him go, I gave myself one last chance to savor the feel of our final embrace.
Johnny
She was gone.
Three words. So much meaning.
I opened my eyes after a mostly sleepless night and found that, except for me, the bed was empty.
So, Kiera was physically gone.
But even if I exited the bedroom and found her in the kitchen or sitting on the couch or possibly even sleeping across the villa in my bedroom, it still wouldn’t change the fact that Kiera was emotionally gone.
I’d lost her.
I struggled to find sleep last night, haunted by the things she’d said and the way she broke down.
I’d done that to her.
I’d reduced the woman I loved most in the world to that horror last night.
