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I knew that what happened between me and Andrew would be a one-time thing, and I knew he would stay away, because he didn’t fight. Even still, I couldn’t shake the feeling of uncleanliness. The fact that I cheated on my husband in a brief moment of senselessness was no one’s fault but my own. Though I knew that having sex with Andrew was a mistake, and despite knowing that Andrew would never love me the way Michael was capable of, I also knew that I couldn’t live in a passionless marriage.
But I still had to try to win Michael back.
I felt the sweat slide down my back, leaving an icy trail in its wake as I raced to what would have become our apartment complex. I had already mostly moved in with Michael because my lease was up soon, but I hadn’t gotten a key from him yet, so I was forced to wait in the lobby.
He entered the complex whistling, smile ready on his face. When he saw me pacing, he stopped near the front desk.
I sighed. “We should talk,” I said.
“Yeah,” he said, slowly walking toward me but coming to a stop six feet away. He crossed his arms. “We should.”
He looked toward the guard desk, where the man sitting behind it seemed to be trying not to overhear. He turned back to me and nodded in the direction of the front of the building. “Let’s talk outside.”
“Can’t we just go upstairs?” I tried not to plead but failed. “Maybe make some lunch and talk while we eat?”
“Alicia, I don’t want to make any more memories with you in my apartment.” He gestured to the outside more emphatically. “Outside will have to do.”
With that, we both made our way to the entrance of the building—him, steadily, and me, following shamefully behind.
When we got outside and sat on a window’s ledge, Michael sighed.
“Alright,” he said. “Talk.”
“First, let me say I’m so sorry,” I started. “I had no intention of sleeping with Andrew, and he was just there to make sure I didn’t die in my sleep. I was super drunk, and things just happened—”
“Save the excuses, Alicia,” Michael said. “Regardless of intention, you slept with the guy. I only want to know what happened. Start from the beginning.”
I sighed, running my hands over my hair. “Okay,” I conceded. “Okay, I can do that.” I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts, to put things in chronological order. My head hurt from the effort, and I realized then that I hadn’t eaten anything to counteract the alcohol still in my system.
“Cat saw that I was too drunk to function, so she called Andrew. According to her, she also called you and Jeremiah, but neither of you picked up. Andrew was the last resort.”
“She never called me.”
I frowned at him, indignant and anger building in equal measure. “Are you calling Cat a liar?”
“I’m not saying it’s intentional, but she definitely didn’t call me. I would have picked up.”
“You can check your phone later,” I said finally. I took a deep breath to quell my irritation. “That’s not the point.”
“It’s definitely the point,” Michael cut in. “I want to know how many people were complicit in all of this. It’s clear that your mother was. How many other people didn’t want us to get married?”
I reared back, my anger taking over. “It’s not about you, Michael,” I shot back. “Everyone but you seemed to see that we weren’t happy, that we shouldn’t get married.”
“So, what, I’m just supposed to accept the cheating then?” Michael asked. “We weren’t happy, so that makes it right?” He got up from the window ledge and stood in front of me, arms crossed. He looked down on me with a sneer. “It’s not my fault you were so unhappy that you slept around on me. You could have left at any time. Did you have sex with anyone else?”
“How dare you,” I said slowly. I rose from the ledge, not willing to have him look down on me any longer. “How dare you treat me as if I’m willfully unfaithful, that I am indiscriminate in my infidelity.”
“How do I know any differently?” he shot back. “If you were so unhappy with me, who’s to say you didn’t sleep with anyone else? Who’s to say you didn’t cheat while you were on the road?”
“I’m gonna pretend that you didn’t just accuse me of sleeping around with multiple people and move on,” I said through gritted teeth. “Anyway, Andrew showed up to make sure I didn’t die. Because that’s what friends do. He made sure I made it through the night. And then I kissed him.”
“So let me get this straight.” He pulled at his beard. “Andrew slept over to make sure you didn’t choke on your own vomit.”
“Yes.”
“And then you two kissed.”
“This morning, yes.”
