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“‘Bring it in’? What’s that?”
“A hug,” he said. “Let me hug you, Ace.”
“I’m not a hugger. Besides, we don’t even know each other like that.”
“We don’t know each other like that, despite hanging out together every day for months and talking about anything and everything?” The wry disbelief in his voice could’ve peeled paint off the walls. “You can do better than that.”
“Why is it that you must foist your opinions on me at every turn?”
“Fine, fine. You’re right, I do foist my opinion on you quite a bit.” He hopped up and sat on the ledge. “Then, it’s your choice. You can hug me, or you cannot.”
We sat and stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity. He looked at me steadily, and I at him. Finally, I sighed.
“Fine, I’ll accept the hug. Whatever.” Though I shrugged, my heart stuttered at the thought of being that close to Andrew. I already felt a strange connection to this boy, despite only knowing him for a few months. He provided a respite, the likes of which I had never known, and it made me think all these crazy thoughts. Thoughts about how maybe not all boys and men were alike, and that maybe, maybe there is someone safe to love.
I stepped tentatively toward him as he hopped off the ledge and opened his arms again. As our bodies made contact, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I could feel the tension slip from my back and I almost gasped with relief. It was as wonderful and terrible as I had imagined.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had a regular hug, let alone a hug in a time like this. Hugs are for hellos and goodbyes, Mother was fond of saying. Not in-betweens.
I squeezed my eyes shut against the surprising upsurge of tears. Being in his arms made it more difficult to hold them in. I buried my face in his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his thin frame. He smelled like some combination of the earthy, comforting woodsmoke from a bonfire, and mint.
“Do you want to know the best thing about this?” he murmured in my ear.
“Okay.” I tried to swallow the sound of my tears.
“I’ll never know if you’re crying or if your face is wet because of the rain, so you have the freedom to cry without shame.”
And so, I did.
