Page 55 of Lawless Princes


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He’s watched me blossom over the past three months, and now that we’re here, with me standing in a white gown having the dressmaker pin and prod at the material, there’s something in Valen’s eyes.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready,” I tell him. “I thought this would be easier as time passed, but…” I allow my words to drift into nothing as I’m finally done and able to get out of the dress.

Valen helps me down from the podium, and I quickly slip on a dressing gown. His hands grip my upper arms, and he holds me steady. When I glance up, I notice an emotion in his expression I didn’t see when he walked in.

“If there is anything bothering you,” Valen says as he looks at me. “You’ll tell me. Won’t you?”

It’s now or never. I could admit the truth, I could tell him everything that’s been eating away at me since yesterday, but I know it won’t do any good. It won’t change my father’s plans.

All my life I thought Papa saw me as more than a pawn in a game. I grew up with him training me in ways that now make sense. Back then, I was just proud to have his attention. My mother left when I was very young, so it was only us, and I wanted my papa to love me.

And he did.

But now he expects me to obey him and go against everything I’ve come to love, I’m struggling. And Valen can see it written all over my face. Of the three men in my life, Valen is the one I’m closest to. Well, he’s the one who’s able to read me the best.

If I was anywhere near Judah, I know he’d sense something was amiss, but he wouldn’t worry about me. I think he sees me as an equal now. The queen to his king. Where as Valen still sees the girl.

“Nothing is wrong,” I finally lie.

The words taste like poison on my lips, but there’s nothing more I can say. Either way, someone is going to die tomorrow, and I just need to make sure I’m there to stop the war that’s about to shatter my world.

“I’ve come to know you rather well, princess,” Valen says, his voice taking on a tone I’ve only ever heard him use with his students. Almost as cold as Judah’s. “Lying isn’t your strong suit.”

I want to tell him everything, but I don’t want to betray my father. If I do, I’ll have to live with the guilt, but then I look at Valen. I meet his gaze, and I see the love and affection he holds for me. The Princes didn’t have to accept me, to trust me, or to allow me into their private world. I would never tell anyone their secret, because it’s not my story to tell. However, right now it feels as if I’m being ripped in two.

“There have been times in my life when I thought I had escaped this world,” I tell him. “I knew my father walked away from the protection of the mafia. But he never once told me therealreasons, and I suppose in many respects, I was too naive to question him.”

“Come,” Valen says suddenly, and he leads me from the library, where I was getting my fitting done, and into Judah’s office.

The room is empty of the usual guards and Capos, but there, behind his desk, is the man who will soon be my husband.

“What’s going on?” he asks, leaning back in his large, white leather office chair. He’s in a crisp blue shirt, the top three buttons undone, and the long sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His tanned skin’s a bit darker now that summer is here, and the corded veins are obvious as he fists his hands at our interference.

He doesn’t always say what he’s thinking, but he’s getting better at it. However, he doesn’t need to say a word for it to be clear we’ve interrupted him.

“Show her,” Valen says as we stop at the opposite side of Judah’s desk. “She needs to see the truth, and if you don’t show her, I will.”

I’m not sure what he’s talking about, but Judah doesn’t look at all pleased.

Judah’s gaze lands on mine, and for a long moment, I’m sure he’s going to refuse. But then he sighs.

“Sit,” he orders.

As always, his detached demeanour is evident. There have been moments, over the past few weeks, where I’ve seen Judah let his guard down. It’s been refreshing, different, but for the most part, I’ve come to love his icy presence—the chill he exudes most of the time. However, when he’s passionate, he’s like a fire that rages through a forest, unyielding and dangerous.

A contrast if ever I saw one.

I settle in the chair and wait. There are so many things racing through my mind. With a quick glance at the balcony, I try to calm my erratic heartbeat, but it’s useless. Perhaps I should tell him, confess. He’ll be angry, but at least I won’t be hiding things from him anymore.

Maybe I’ll wait until he tells me whatever it is he needs to, and then I can come clean. I’m not sure what to expect when he looks at me, because there’s no hint in his expression as to what this could be about.

My stomach flutters with the wings of a hummingbird. Judah pulls out a thick folder, heavy with what I assume are documents, but I’m uncertain what they’ll reveal. More than likely, they contain evidence. Things I don’t know but need to know. Secrets.

“You need to read through the contents of this file. Take your time going through the documents,” he says. “If you have any questions, ask. There’s a lot of information in there. Some things you may notwantto know, but since you’re about to walk down the aisle with me, it’s best you learn it all.”

“What is it?” I ask as I flick open the cover, and gasp when I see my father’s name and photo on the first page. “This is… I mean…”

When I scan the page, my heart comes to a stop for a split second. I pray my hands don’t shake—I force myself to stay calm. Judah is trained in reading people, and he’ll see right through me if I convey any inclination as to the real reason I’m here.

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