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Asher’s brows raise. “No need to be sorry. I needed it.”
“Nah, man. You fucked up. Like so thoroughly fucked up. But we all did, too. You may have led us to leave and manipulated us into believing lies, but Gloria was the man behind the mask. It’s her fault, too.” I shake my head, hammering the point home that Asher alone isn’t at fault. This wasn’t totally his doing. “She did this to us. But I want to put it behind us. For them. For us. For everything. What do you say? Can we move past this together?”
Asher blinks several times when I reach a hand out, wiggling my fingers. Hesitantly, he grabs on, and I pull him to his feet, shaking his hand. He swallows hard, shame tightening his face.
“Thanks,” he croaks. “I don’t really deserve it.”
“Yes, you do,” I say without hesitation. “But you did what you did. And I get it after thinking about everything that happened. This isn’t solely on you, Ash. You were fucking used.” It’s true. I get why he was so damn desperate to leave. I was, too. But not at the expense of River. That’s the part that fucks me up the most. That we left River without even knowing about Lyric.
“If we would have stayed, we would have been stuck with Nigel and then…probably gone to jail with him.” Yeah, he would have lifted us in his company to the highest regard and then sent us to the slammer in his stead after all that shit the FBI found out. I’m thankful we skipped town. “I was desperate and obviously not thinking.” His eyes fall to the floor, and he heaves a breath. “I’ll say I’m sorry a million times.”
“I get it. Fuck, do I get it. I didn’t really want to stay behind. I just wanted to be with her. Imagine where our life would have been…” I trail off as several scenes rush through my mind. Lyric being born. Hell, River confiding in us that she was pregnant. The baby shower. Moving her in with us at Callum’s because that’s where we would have been despite Nigel’s iron fist. So many possibilities. And yet, here we are.
“We would have survived,” Asher says, squeezing my hand.
“Like we always did, brother,” I murmur, squeezing back.
Finally, our hands drop to our sides.
“I bet Callum has some cream for those bruises somewhere in this place. It will help take some of the pain away if you still have any.”
He shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck.
I know what he’s thinking by the sadness clouding his eyes. He doesn’t want it. He wants to suffer because he wants the remnants of what we did to him to remind him every day that he fucked up.
“Don’t worry about it,” he says, waving a hand. “Have a good night. I’m heading back to bed.”
“Thanks for taking such good care of Ly,” I say, catching him before he leaves the room. “You’re not a bad guy, Asher. You just made a shit decision.”
He gives a humorless laugh. “Yeah. I am a bad guy, though. That’s the problem.”
“But you wouldn’t do it again, right?”
His shoulders stiffen, and he shakes his head. “Fuck no. Never again.” He scratches his neck. “I’ve felt empty as fuck, and I finally feel full again just being around them. Being with Ly and having her call me daddy. It’s bringing me back from the grave I put myself into.” He heaves a breath as his watery eyes meet mine.
“You and me both. I love ya, Ash. I know we still have a lot to work out,” I say, giving him a respectful nod and heading to my bedroom.
When I enter, I stop dead at the dress pooled on the ground and River sitting on the edge of the bed in my oversized T-shirt. How the fuck am I supposed to keep my hands to myself all night long?
My heart fills with so much love when I change into my sweats and climb into bed. Lyric’s sleeping form rests between us, snoring.
“Should I tell her she snores, too?” I murmur, marveling at her little face.
River snorts, snuggling close to Ly. “She’ll fight you tooth and nail,” she murmurs, giggling. “Like father, like daughter.” I swear my chest puffs out a million times more at the thought of Lyric gaining my stubborn streak.
“Night, River Blue.”
“Night, Knight,” she whispers with a whimsical smile crossing her lips. “See you in the morning.”
What the hellis going on with me? I promised I wouldn’t cave, but goddamn, I’m falling into the darkness with only them as my guides. Again! It’s so easy falling back into their arms. It’s like time never slipped away from us.
Even as I sit in the basement, remarkably similar to Callum’s old house, watching the boys jam out with smiles on their faces. For the first damn time, joy ignites in them. Completely different from a few weeks ago.
Lyric dances before me, lip-syncing the lyrics to the song she’s memorized from years before.
“Again!” she yelps, stomping impatiently, staring at me until I relent.
The last thing I want to do is subject myself to Kieran’s sultry voice. But I can’t deny those big, weeping eyes staring daggers into me.
