AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Have fun,” I rasp, waving my goodbye as they set off on their little adventure.
Butterflies burst in my stomach when he takes her tiny hand in his, swinging their grip back and forth. I touch a hand to my lips, watching Lyric’s mouth move a million miles a minute. Every ounce of darkness flees from her face like there isn’t a worry in the entire universe. Right now, her world is Asher Montgomery.
Asher’s shoulders relax as he clutches her tiny hand, nodding his head to whatever she’s saying. He grins more, opens the door for her, and follows her inside. It’s like they’ve had these outings a million times before. This is our new normal.
The moment they disappear, tears burn the back of my eyes. I squeeze them shut, refusing to let any tears fall down my cheeks. Happy or sad. It doesn’t matter. Despite the need to purge my emotions, a warmth spreads across my chest. Tingling courses through my veins, and a weightless feeling lifts me.
All I ever wanted was Ly and her dads. Them taking her places. Wanting to be there for her and listen to her when she needs them. She’s always wanted them by her side; now, she’s getting her wish.
I blow out a breath when they leave the store side by side. Ly clutches two small bouquets of dark pink, light pink, and white flowers—one in each hand and a shit-eating grin taking over her lips. Once again, Asher helps Ly get into her new booster seat, carefully strapping her in with furrowed brows.
“Mommy, I picked out the most beautiful flowers! Here, smell,” she squeals, bouncing in her seat before shoving the flowers directly into my face.
I flinch back from the petals hitting me in the face. The wonderful scent of roses hits my nose when I inhale, reminding me of the night I spent with Kieran in the rain with roses floating all around us. “They’re beautiful, Ly,” I chuckle, lightly shoving them away from my face. “You did a good job, baby.”
Setting back in her seat, Asher finally straps her in with success as she babbles until he kisses her forehead. “I love you, Daddy.” Her big eyes stare at him like he hung the moon for her.
Yup. There goes my heart. It’s a melty puddle in my chest, beating rapidly when he beams.
“I love you too,” he murmurs, softly shutting the door.
She preens, pulling the flowers into her nose and taking a big whiff. “Mmm, I think Grandma will like them. Do you think Grandma will like them, Mommy?”
“I’m sure Grandma will,” I rasp, side-eyeing Asher again when he settles into the front seat, unable to look at me.
“Flowers for grandma?” I murmur, resting a hand on his forearm and gently squeezing until his eyes snap to mine, dilating the littlest bit from the warm contact. Electricity zaps through my fingertips, running straight to my toes from the slightest touch of his flesh. My hairs stand on end when his eyes fall on our connecting flesh, and he swallows hard.
He shudders at the contact, the briefest hint of a blush pinkening his cheeks. “Flowers for both grandmas,” he murmurs. “Our mothers are both at the same cemetery.”
The world stops moving. I freeze in place, letting his words knock around inside my brain. My mother. His mother. They’re in the same damn place?
“Oh, Asher,” I breathe, pressing my fingers to my trembling lips. “The cemetery?” I lamely ask with a rock stuck in my throat.
“We weren’t there for you when it happened. I feel—” His grip tightens on the steering wheel as his chest expands. Heavy breaths pour from between his parted lips as his body loosens more. “I feel so fucking responsible for you not having the support you deserved. It was me. I did that. We should have been there for you and held you. Let you cry on our shoulders. Rad could have made some ridiculous apple pie and any comfort food you needed. And…and…we weren’t there.” Asher blows out a shaky breath. “It may be a little late, but that’s what we’re doing now.”
“Yay! Grandma gets flowers!” Lyric sings, swaying in her seat. “I can’t wait to give them to her.” She continues babbling, not comprehending what we’re about to do.
I’ve had this talk with her before. She constantly questions where my mommy is and why she’s not here. I’ve explained to her by pointing to the bright orb hanging out in the darkened sky that she’s with the man on the moon. She left this world because she was sick, and now she watches us with a smile. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to a four-year-old that my mom is never coming back to meet her.
“Jesus Christ,” I rasp through the razor blades sitting in my throat every time I swallow.
“That’s okay, right?” Asher asks, pulling out of the parking lot with concern twisting his face. “I can just take you back to Cal’s, and you can do it privately if you want. Take the flowers and do what you want with them. I’ll call the boys and tell them you need this time to yourself.”
“Please take me there, Asher,” I whisper through the tears heating the backs of my eyes. “I want to do this with you.”
And I do. Every molecule in my body settles at the thought of visiting these graves with him.
It’s been five years since I faced my mother. The moment they lowered her into the ground was the hardest day of my life. I had my found family with me that day. I cried on their shoulders. But when I went home all by myself with no one to pick up the pieces, I fell hard.
When I was pregnant, I made a vow to visit my mother any chance I could. I’d sit in the sun and talk to her, letting her know about Ly and what was happening. I’ve celebrated her life from far away for too long. It’s time to face her again and tell her everything that’s happened while she’s been away.
As we travel closerto the cemetery, I can’t look away from the man I once saw as a monster. My enemy. The man who took everything away from me with one little lie. He’s no longer the man he once was. Not at all.
My gaze eats him alive, taking in every inch of his profile and memorizing them. My eyes trace the tired lines, old bruises, and scrapes I had missed. A few scars line his cheeks and neck, falling beneath his tight black T-shirt.
Were those there before? From his father? From something else?
“Wow!” Lyric proclaims, knocking me out of my thoughts as we travel beneath the iron banner, welcoming us to the last place I ever thought I’d be.
