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“Yeah, I almost ran my kid over and had to bail,” I murmur, rubbing my chin. “You know, don’t you?”
“I know,” he says slowly, confirming.
“Only since yesterday. It’s amazing. So many people know. Now, you,” River demands, pointing a finger in my direction. “Take me to Cal. And you babysit, please. She’s sleeping soundly down the hall. She shouldn’t wake up. Just please don’t snoop,” she says, folding her hands together, and he nods.
“Anything for her,” he says in a low voice full of emotion. Swallowing hard, he continues to avoid my gaze.
“Perfect. Thanks. Now, Let’s roll.” She waves a hand, begging me to follow her out the front door, and I do once I grab my torn-up shirt.
“We’ll talk about it later,” Asher murmurs as I pass, staring straight into my eyes.
“Somethings not right, man,” I say softly, watching the shadows outside swallow River until she jumps into her SUV.
“Yeah,” he says, looking away. “You’re right. It’s not.”
Her smile hangsin my memories like a memorial of something I once had—my Little Star. The girl who brought out the best in me, helped to build me up, and then let me crash and burn in the worst possible way. I rub my chest over the masterpiece plastered on my skin in her honor.
Her lies eat away at my every waking thought, drowning me in the pain of her betrayal, even after so many years. No amount of distance eases the pain of watching your life fall apart at the seams.
Low music hums in my ears through my earbuds, low enough to be aware of my surroundings. Music eases some of the pain tearing through my chest. I focus on the words wrapping around my brain and unclench my fists, preparing myself.
My second reprieve stands opposite me behind the cage of the octagon, staring daggers in my direction. With a menacing smile and a scar running the length of his left cheek, he should send shivers of apprehension down my spine. But I wave it off, focusing on the screaming and heavy drums in my ears easing my soul. If he wants to fuck me up, then I’ll serve myself up on a platter for the taking. Knock me around. Bash my fucking skull in. It’s what I crave when I step into the cage—anything to momentarily numb the memories trying their hardest to resurface. I eye him again as a small man whispers to him, standing on a stool to reach my opponent’s impressive six-foot-seven height.
“He’s going to annihilate you, man.” I peer over at the fight coordinator, Ruthless, as he likes to be called, nervously biting his bottom lip with a frown. Worry sits behind his dark gaze, and he shakes his head, running a hand through his dark locks and grunts.
He’s an intimidating man himself, running this entire operation with his brothers. Standing at six-five, with his body covered in tattoos and a part of an underground gang, he should frighten me, too. Hell, there are a lot of things that should scare me. Not him, though. He’s as harmless as an annoying gnat fluttering around. However, he’s rarely on edge like now, bouncing on his toes and forming fists. He shakes his head.
“Seriously, Cal. You need to rethink this entire thing. He’s going to bash your damn skull in,” Ruthless grunts with irritation, glaring at me. What does he care? I’ll make him money tonight by taking a few punches. “Not to mention he fights fucking dirty. I better not have to scrape your brains off the damn mats after he razor blades you.”
“That’s what I’m hoping for,” I mutter, pulling my arm across my chest and stretching out. Ruthless continues his spiel on how I’m about to die and that he’s not responsible for burying my body or carrying me out of here when The Beast tears me a new asshole and takes my heart.
“You have a damn death wish every time you come in here,” he huffs, pushing away from me with a frown deepening the wrinkles on his forehead. “Just be careful. And watch the damn Beast’s moves,” he hisses out a warning with finality, nodding toward the tall asshole across from me, jabbing his hands out an excessive amount of times.
The crowd wanders into the old bleachers on either side of the gym we’re currently taking residence in. An old panther’s logo, peeling from the walls, stares back at me with its mouth wide open, and the words East Point Prep splattered above it. I’ve never asked Ruthless how he came upon this empty campus. Years before, it was a prestigious prep school, then turned into a public school. Somewhere along the way, it was abandoned for good and left to rot.
I’ve never inquired on how he uses this without getting caught, despite the parking lot full of cars. Somehow, we’re never interrupted by law enforcement, and I’m forever grateful for the reprieve from real life. This is my haven. It’s where I go when my head fills with too many memories that my brain refuses to erase and knocks them into a black box.
The rising voices of the crowd crescendo through the vaulted space, infiltrating my ears over my soft music, which is another nuisance. I close my eyes and take several deep breaths, calming myself down and drowning out their cheers and taunts by tuning into the heavy melody playing through my earbuds.
My mind drifts to a faraway time, when I was nestled in the arms of the girl, I thought I loved—my Little Star. Even now, butterflies flutter in my stomach, heightening my nerves. That woman opened me up on so many levels, bringing out the confidence I shut away.
Fuck. I take several deep breaths, focusing on the smile she’d give me out of the corner of my eye, giving me tingling skin and tied tongues every time. Or the way we laid so many nights under the artificial stars placed above her bed. The memory of sneaking in through her unlocked sliding glass door, slipping beneath her sheets, and holding her tight, always rests just within reach in my mind. There’s something so precious about River West and what we shared for all those months until the rug was pulled from beneath my feet.
Ultimately, in the end, she ruined it by turning her back on us and sneaking around. So, we did the same when we left without a goodbye. Some days, I wish I had that closure to grasp instead of wondering how she took it or how she was. No matter how badly she tore my heart in two, she’s always with me.
My breath shudders when another unwanted memory resurfaces in the forefront of my mind. I stand rigidly as it flashes like a movie flickering to life, unable to stop it as it advances on me like a waking nightmare. Only this time, I don’t try to tune it out. Instead, I keep it close and let the rage, pain, and heartbreak overtake me as fuel for the deadly fight I’m about to endure.
Van growls, locking his eyes on me when I emerge from the shadows of the hallway of River’s apartment. My brows furrow when he pushes her up against the kitchen counter, slamming his lips into hers. Taking a step back, I shake my head, swallowing the bile rising in my throat. Out of instinct, I take my phone out and snap a picture of her infidelity. I may remember every detail of this moment, but my brothers need proof to move on. If they didn’t believe it before, they will now, just like me. There was no way I believed anything that came out of Asher’s mouth. He was never ready for her, always standing on the sidelines like an observer.
“She’s been cheating on us.” Ash’s voice echoes in my mind as I witness the deepening of the kiss and the unmistakable sound of her pleasure. “Cheating.” Again, it plays, forever haunting me as I retreat from the situation with haste and don’t look back.
The world sits on my shoulders when I throw open the sliding glass door, and I halt my exit, listening to the muted conversation down the hall. It’s barely a whisper in the wind, and I’m unable to make out what they’re saying.
Every inch of me splits into two at the heartbreak soaring from her betrayal. Fat tears track down my cheeks, but I quickly wipe them away. She doesn’t deserve my tears. Or my heart. Or anything that has to do with us. She took our love and crushed it in her palm, easily throwing us to the side for Van fucking Drake.
“Callum.” My name is a plea on her lips as she reaches for me, begging me to stay and saying more words I can’t understand over the roaring emotions turning inside me.
“Goodbye, River,” I mutter, giving her one last tear-filled look as I retreat and memorize her horror-stricken face.
