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Guilt presses down on my chest, stealing my oxygen until I take a huge, relieving breath.
“What kind of dream?” I ask, running my fingers soothingly through her hair, hoping to ease the little trembles rumbling through her body.
“Mean monsters outside my window,” she mumbles with a sniffle. Her bright, mismatched eyes search my face as it softens for her. “Tap. Tap. Tap,” she mumbles, moving her little finger along with the words.
“I won’t let the monsters get you, Little One. Ever. None of your daddies will allow that,” I murmur soothingly, as her eyes flutter, and her long lashes brush against her cheeks.
Her body wiggles a few more times as her whimpers die down, and she relaxes in my arms. It dawns on me that she trusts me, feeling safe in my presence. After a few minutes, her soft baby snores fill the room as she clings to my shirt. “I’ll never let anything bad happen to you ever again,” I mutter, studying her face again, getting lost in the soft glow of her skin.
How can I already love such a small human after only a few days of knowing she exists? It shouldn’t be possible. But fuck, since the moment she uttered daddy, I was a goner. Lost to the way she held me close and asked me never to forget her again. My emotions have been haywire and spiraling since that moment. Lyric may not biologically be mine, but I’m here for this. I want this. Need this. Need her. She’s a piece of me I never expected to find, and now that I have, I can’t give it up.
Since River walked into that conference room, I’ve been biting my tongue. On the one hand, the guys deserve to know the truth about our departure. They’ve earned the right to know why I did what I did—what I had to do for us to get us here. Back then, it all made sense. All the pressure that was on my shoulders forced my hand. But that was me then, and this is me now, looking back and realizing I was an absolute idiot. Since coming into the spotlight, I’ve been forced to grow up.
On the other hand, I’m being a selfish fucking prick. If I confess my deceitful sins to the boys on why we had to leave and why I told so many goddamn lies to get us here, then I’ll lose everything. The band. Lyric. Hell, even River. My life would implode, and I’d be left to pick up the pieces by myself. There’s no way they’ll stand beside me after I tell them.
Fuck. The indecision wars in my mind, giving me a damn pounding headache.
I stiffen when the front door bursts open in a flurry of movement. Shielding the little girl in my arms from any harm, my eyes widen as Callum races through with wide eyes and a heaving chest, followed by Rad sheepishly entering the front door with a frown.
“Bro,” Rad says, tapping Callum’s chest and nodding toward Lyric, situated snuggly in my lap. Callum’s face softens at the sight of her dark hair and tiny snores.
“Shut up,” I growl, nodding toward Lyric sound asleep on my lap. “She’s asleep.”
“You assfaces are not supposed to be in my damn house. You keep pushing my damn buttons,” River grumbles in a sharp tone, marching into the house and shutting the door. “Has anyone seen my damn phone?” Quickly she checks her pockets and looks around the room with a frown and shakes her head, worry lines creasing her forehead. Her nose wrinkles taking in the bundle in my arms and sighs. “What happened?” she asks, eyeing the position I’ve found myself in.
“Monsters outside her window,” I mumble, clutching her to my chest, rising with a groan. I didn’t hold her for that long, but my muscles protest from the stiff position and my refusal to move an inch while she was in my arms.
River blows out a breath, running a hand down her face. “Yeah, that’s been happening a lot lately.”
“Is it not normal, Pretty Girl?” Rad asks, stepping forward with a grin and staring down at Lyric’s sleeping face.
“Oh shit,” Callum mutters in the background, stumbling over his feet to get closer.
“Told you,” Rad mutters smugly.
“Want me to take her back to bed?” I ask River, who reluctantly nods and leads me down the long hallway of her one-story home toward the bedroom at the far end.
Footfalls softly sound behind us as all four of us step into the purple princess room. Fairy lights decorate the edges of the ceiling, hanging down the walls like rainfall, illuminating the medium-sized bedroom. Clothes, toys, and even snack wrappers line the floor, causing River to frown.
Gently, I place her in the middle of the bed, covering her with the plush comforter designed with princesses and crowns. Perfect for our little girl. Running a finger down her cheek, I bask in the tiny sleepy smile she gives me.
“Night, Daddies. You come tomorrow?” she asks in a little voice, melting my fucking heart all over again. Jesus. All she has to do is call my name, and I’m already wrapped around her tiny little finger. I’ll do anything for her, and I don’t think I’m the only one.
“Yes, Little One,” I murmur.
“Yes, Little Pretty Girl,” Rad says at that exact same time with enthusiasm and a grin.
“Yes-yes,” Callum stammers in awe, stepping forward and meeting her barely open eyes. She grins at him and yawns.
“Other Daddy,” she murmurs, looking up at him and examining his face. “You came, too,” she says in tired awe, staring up at Callum with stars in her eyes.
“I did,” he manages to whisper, staring directly into her eyes. I see the moment everything truly clicks for him, and he shudders. I’m sure Rad opened his big mouth and told Callum everything.
“Okay. Night, Ly. Sorry, Mommy had to run an errand. Now all your daddies are going to leave. But you’ll no doubt see them again,” she says with a pointed stare in our direction, silently ushering us out of her house where we’re not supposed to be in the first place.
Rad snorts at her sarcastic remark but doesn’t utter a word when she shoots daggers in his direction. As quietly as we can, we shuffle through the bedroom door, shutting it behind us. On silent feet, we follow River out to the living room, standing awkwardly in a spaced-out circle, with her putting more distance between us. Looking around the room, she awkwardly shifts from foot to foot and heaves a sigh.
“Um, thanks for the last-minute, late-night babysitting,” River mumbles with a cringe. If I could see the inner workings of her mind right now, I’d be able to hear the warring thoughts displaying on her transparent face. “I appreciate it,” she says again with a tight smile, standing rigidly in the awkward silence surrounding the four of us.
