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“What the fuck about my mother?” I ask, gripping her finger in my fist, squeezing it gently so she can’t back away from me.
“Oh, that bitch,” River snaps, trying to yank her hand away from me. “I drove to Callum’s with this fucking secret. I needed you—all of you,” she cries out, trying harder this time. I eye Rad and Callum as they move to her sides, wrapping their arms around her until she stops fighting me. Angry tears pour down her face, and she shakes her head. “I was pregnant, and all I got were restraining orders and a nice check to ‘get rid of the problem.’”
“What?” I breathe, shaking my head. No. No. No. That’s not what I would ever fucking want. How could Gloria do all that shit behind my back and not fucking tell me?
“She called you right in front of me. Called you by name. Said you didn’t want the baby. You said it was probably Van’s,” she says through gritted teeth as a fire erupts behind her heated eyes. “Said you wanted me to get rid of it! How could you?” she breathes the last part, staring daggers in my direction.
“I didn’t.” Words fucking fail me as I stare at the hurt encasing her every movement. “I didn’t fucking know, River. I swear to all fucking things holy that I had no clue Lyric existed. Gloria didn’t fucking call me. Not then. No, she called me weeks later and told me about you. But she-she said it was Van’s baby and that you… That you….” I suck in a breath as the world I’ve built around me deteriorates. The thick lies that built me crumble in the burning flames of truth, turning to white ash.
“But you still left,” she whispers so lightly I have to strain to listen. “You still fucking left me. You left her. You didn’t even come and talk to me. You didn’t even check on me to see how I was doing.” River shakes her head again, shrugging all of us off of her. With a deep breath, she stops a few feet away from us. Her glossy moss-green eyes drag up and down our stunned expressions. “How could you? You were my best friend. You left me once, and I thought maybe it wouldn’t happen again. But you left me.”
“But Van?” My heart pounds when her face morphs into disgust. “That video. That kiss Callum caught on camera. You-you—” I trail off, losing myself in past events that have haunted me.
“Right. You’re convinced I cheated on you. Is that why you turned your back on me?” She crosses her arms across her chest. “Is that really what you believe? I don’t know why in the fuck—”
“It was me.” The world ceases to turn as those three guilt-ridden words wrap around the four of us arguing in the living room, cutting off our voices.
I blink several times as his words sit heavily on my chest. Turning to Asher, who stands stoically across the room with tears flowing down his pale cheeks, I shake my head.
Asher’s been through hell in his life. I’ve watched Nigel beat the fuck out of him, throw him across the room, and stomp on his ribs. All the while, Asher never made a sound. Tears never came. Not even as an adult. Asher’s a fortress, holding his emotions prisoner in those walls.
So, to see the tears welling up and falling down his cheeks like rain cascading down the windows has me flinching back.
“What do you mean?” Every muscle in my body tightens at his words.
“What was you?” Rad asks tersely, balling his hands into white-knuckled fists.
“What the fu-fuck did you do?” Callum shouts brokenly, staring at Asher with wide eyes. He shakes his head several times, stumbling back onto the couch with a ghostly expression like he’s figured it out. It only takes a second for reality to take hold of Callum. He stands on silent feet, cracking his knuckles. A deadly expression thunders across his face, and he snarls in Asher’s direction with such malice my balls shrivel. “You fucking asshole!” Callum growls through clenched teeth.
“It was me. I did it. I…” He heaves a breath.
“What do you mean?” River asks, taking a tentative step toward him, cautiously approaching like he’s a wild animal about to bolt. “You did it? What did you—” her words trail off, staring at him in disbelief.
Wiping a hand down his face, he pushes all the tears dripping down his cheeks away. “River didn’t cheat on you. She never touched Van. Even when you went to find her,” he says, throwing an arm in Callum’s direction.
“What in the ever-living fuck are you talking about?” Rad shouts through clenched teeth.
“You were all so content with staying behind!” he sputters, stumbling back into the wall. Through vigorous head shakes, he finally settles his eyes on the ceiling. “That night at the castle house on the damn lake, you told her you’d stay behind for her. You said you’d drop the Battle of the Bands until she could come with—” His lip trembles until he covers it with his hand. “I couldn’t let that happen. This was our destiny, and I was afraid.”
“No, you fucking didn’t,” Rad says through a shallow breath, disbelief pulling his lips open.
“Looking back, it’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever done. And I’m so damn sorry! But I was so goddamn desperate to get away from my father and live our dream. I couldn’t stay in Central City. This was it—my only chance. You remember what he was like, right?” Asher’s chest heaves when his sorrow-filled eyes connect with mine, but thankfully, he doesn’t go into full detail about our abuse at the hands of his father.
“Of fucking course, I remember how he was. But that… That doesn’t fucking…”
“What the hell is going on right now?” River mutters, looking around the room, slightly shaking her head. “What exactly are you trying to say?”
“Explain!” I bark, taking a step forward with urgency, slamming into the front of his body. “Explain every fucking thing you did!” My fingers curl on the front of his shirt, pulling him forward so he can’t lie to my damn face. “What. Did. You. Do?” I growl, pushing my face into his. “Asher!” I shout again.
“I set it up!” he gasps out, slamming his eyes shut. “The videos were old. River didn’t sleep with Van. He sent them to me because I asked him to. I had to convince you guys—” He doesn’t get to utter another word when my fist slams straight into the side of his head, knocking him back from me, but I cling on by the scruff of his shirt, keeping him within striking distance.
“You what?” River breathes, going completely still. Her mouth falls open, eyeing Asher as he sways on his feet. If it’s humanly possible, all the color drains from her body. A twisted look of betrayal and horror takes over her features, and she shakes her head. “Why would you ask him to send you old sex tapes that I didn’t even know existed?” River’s words stammer together. Sharp shivers run through her body until she’s trembling uncontrollably. Her knees knock together, and her breaths saw in and out of her flaring nostrils.
“Pretty Girl,” Rad rushes to her side, throwing an arm over her shoulders. “I got you,” he whispers, holding her tightly to his side and kissing her head tenderly.
“Here,” Callum grunts through his anger, handing Rad a blanket to drape over her shoulders. Quickly, he drops a kiss on her temple, freezing there for a millisecond before his eyes flash to Asher.
A ringing forms in my ears, cutting off the noise around me. Asher set it all up. He led us to believe a big fucking lie. One that’s destroyed every piece of not only us as people but the goddamn band. My gut lurches, threatening to spill my damn dinner. Colors blur around me. Everything swerves out of fucking focus.
