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“Mommy! Daddy said my name!” she squeals, breaking away from her mother’s grip and charges me with a grin. Her tiny body slams into mine, still seated on the ground. Her tiny arms wrap around my neck, and she nuzzles her face into my neck. “I knew you’d remember me, Daddy,” she whispers into my flesh. “Please, don’t forget me again.” My heart fucking cracks inside my chest and splinters into pieces. I don’t know what River has told her. Hell, I don’t know how the fuck this happened, but I’ll get to the bottom of it.
“Lyric, babe. We have to get you downstairs. Maggie is waiting,” River’s voice cracks when she says those words, slowly peeling Lyric off me.
“Bye, Daddy! See you tomorrow!” she says in a cheerful tone, waving to me one last time until they disappear around the corner and out of view.
“See you tomorrow,” I whisper a promise I can’t keep to no one but the empty hall.
I sit there for another five minutes, staring at the same spot they disappeared through. Rampant thoughts roll through my mind at hyper-speed, sending my heart into a damn frenzy. She called me Daddy. Daddy. Me? Fuck. I bring a hand up to my mouth, contemplating throwing up the acid still burning holes through my esophagus. This is my fault. Every ounce of this situation is on my shoulders. More tension mounts inside me, wreaking havoc. A pounding headache hammers through my skull, pressing me down onto the floor. The weight of the fucking world rests on me because I did this.
I’m to fucking blame. The guys have no clue River had a baby. Fuck. I didn’t know! And here she is, this beautiful little creature calling me daddy and begging me to never forget her. Goddamn. Kieran is going to break my face open when he finds out.
And I’ll deserve it.
I rub my eyes and lean my head against the wall. Fuck. I have so much to do, but I can’t seem to get myself to move from this spot. Just as I’m about to rise from my spot, a figure comes marching down the hall with gritted teeth and balled-up fists.
“Why’re you still here?” River asks with suspicion when she walks by, only stopping right beside me. “Shouldn’t you be packing? I’m sure you have a lot of stuff to do.” She raises a pointed brow, taking out a key from her pocket. Like a silent invitation, she opens the door I’m beside and walks in. It isn’t until I climb to my feet do I read the plaque outside the door.
‘River West–Manager–Fixer’
God damn. She really went and made something of herself, like she had always hoped. All her hard work and determination have paid off. How many days and nights did she work herself to the bone to achieve her dreams?
My heartbeat roars in my throat when I step into her office and stop short in the middle. River’s brow furrows as she leans over her desk, running her finger over a piece of paper. She swallows hard, turning to another page.
“You had a baby?” I question through a rasp, startling her from her stupor.
“Great deduction skills, Asher. You’re a regular detective,” she bites back. “You’re as smart as I remember. How long did it take you to remember her?” She scoffs, tossing whatever she was looking at back into a large envelope with her name on it. But I note the tremble in her fingers and the shiver that runs down her spine. Quickly, she picks up her phone and types out a message with pursed lips, not letting me see her emotions. Paleness erases all the color from her face, and she mutters a name under her breath, shaking her head. “Fucking, Kat.”
“Remember?” I ask, furrowing my brows. “What the hell are you talking about?” I ask, rolling my shoulders back.
She rolls her eyes and sets her phone back in a large purse. “Don’t you have more important things to do? Like pack and get your ass in the limo?” Cocking her head to the side, her green eyes narrow at me as she waits for my answer.
“Yeah, I have important fucking things to do. But you had a baby, and you’re evading the question, Little Brat. Is it his?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest and matching her aggression. Her nickname feels foreign on my tongue, but yet, oh, so right. I don’t know what it is about River West, but she brings this side out of me. This demanding prick that begs to put her on a string and force her to my will.
“It’s none of your business now. And my name is River, River West to you,” she says with a simple head shake and collects her purse. “Now, get out of my office. I have a meeting,” she demands, pointing toward the open door and shooing me away.
“No,” I say, grabbing her arm and halting her retreat. “Is that little girl my brother’s?” I whisper, looking deep into her wide, moss-green eyes. “Tell me.”
“Why the fuck do you care now?” she grunts with emotions bubbling through her words, tinged with hurt and so much rage, it punches me in the gut. With defiance, she pulls her arm out of my grip and rights herself. “Five years of knowledge that, yeah, I kept our fucking kid. But why now? Why care now, Asher?” she growls, taking a step back, but keeps her eyes on me. “Explain it to me because I’d love to hear the words come out of your mouth.”
My throat constricts at her tiny admission, and I press forward, pushing through the confusion. “You seem to be under the impression that I know what you’re talking about. I didn’t know you had a kid, let alone Kieran’s baby. If we’d known…” I stop myself, running a hand through my hair and gripping the ends.
God fucking damnit! Guilt tears me in two, bringing fresh tears burning in my eyes. My stomach churns more, and I barely suppress the dry heave constricting my throat.
What? Would we have turned around? Giving up our dreams? Shit. Does Kieran know? Fuck. My heart sinks. Did he throw them away because of me? Did I… I heave a breath, tamping down the panic swelling like a surging storm in my chest. I did. I fucking destroyed a family. We could have had something wonderful, and I fucked it all up by being an asshole with my one little lie.
Not only did I fuck over River and my bandmates, but I fucked over his kid—our kid. Jesus, she called me daddy.
Time stands still around me as this pinnacle moment smacks me over the head, forcing me to see every mistake I’ve made flash before my eyes. We have a daughter. With River. Our time is running on fumes. I need to sew these wounds shut and fix our issues. For Lyric. For us. For River. I’ve been complicit in this for far too long and sitting back without opening my mouth. It’s time to set everything in motion and bring our family back together. It’s time I make this up to everyone.
She blinks a few times, staring at me, and shakes her head. “Out,” she barks with much less fire in her voice, and her shoulders slump.
With reluctance, I follow her out, staying close as she locks the door and watching her every move.
“River?” I ask when she turns to walk away without glancing in my direction.
“What?” she asks in a sharp voice, stopping in the middle of the hall.
“Why did she call me daddy?” I ask, furrowing my brows. She’s clearly not my blood, but I’d love her just the same, even if she wasn’t.
