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“Fine. Um, I guess one would be…I found an article about being tickled and how some people really liked that. I don’t like being tickled.” He paused, trying to subtly take a breath before he licked his lips and pushed himself to keep going. “That would not be a good kind of submission to me.”
Oh, we were making progress.
“I can understand that and I’m not sure I’ve met anyone who’s into that.” Not that I’d gone out much lately. “Take a drink, boy. Your mouth is dry.”
He obeyed with a quick nod, but it wasn’t until he started to put the bottle of water down that he stopped mid-motion and realized what he’d done. “That…”
Nothing in his response said he was feeling negatively about it, so I nodded toward the water he carefully set back on the table. “That was the good kind of submission or neutral, at least?”
I got a very slow nod I wasn’t sure actually meant he was agreeing with me. After a moment, he swallowed and seemed to have figured out how to respond. “Doms…the Doms and Handlers I saw online…some of them liked taking care of their subs. It seemed to be a specific subset of…of the lifestyle.”
He really had been researching BDSM as he’d been hiding from me.
It actually made me feel better about the whole thing but I tried not to show it as I nodded. Doing my best to keep my voice neutral and even, I treated it like a learning experience, not like I was flirting with him.
I really wanted to be flirting with him, though.
“Yes, a lot of Doms fall into the caretaker side of things. Making sure you have enough water is one example. Others might be setting a bedtime to make sure you’re getting enough rest or working out rules for a sub who eats terribly.” Knowing he might’ve read about those kinds of rules online, I tried to think of something more unique. “I know a Dom who makes his sub write in a diary every night because it helps the sub process how they’re feeling.”
“That’s…” He paused, his thinking face coming over him again. “I hadn’t thought about something like that.”
“Most of the time people picture sexual limits and the more obvious rules.” When he nodded, I used that as permission to keep going. “But it’s all individual and based on what a sub needs and what brings the Dom and sub closer together.”
Payton was quiet again for a few long moments before he sat straighter…his I can do this wiggle, as I was coming to see it. “What kinds of things enhance your connection with a sub?”
Oh, about me, huh?
Did I actually have a chance with him?
“Rules that are personal between us. I’m a baker and it would be punishing me if I said my sub can’t have dessert.” That got a laugh from Payton and a little nod that said he understood I’d hate that. “But I’m big on connection.”
What would be a good way to illustrate that, though?
Deciding to keep it simple, I grabbed the first idea that came to mind. “So I might have prearranged times to check in during the day. Like a quick Hi text first thing or something like that. Just to touch base and make sure he knows I’m thinking about him and so I know he’s thinking about me.”
Payton didn’t reply in words, but he sucked in his lower lip, nibbling on it and showing me a new tell. “But…but wouldn’t that make someone high maintenance and annoying?”
Who had he been dating that texting during the day would be high maintenance?
“No.” I must’ve looked startled as I shook my head because he almost laughed and had to work at a straight face. “Maybe if it was a hundred times a day or some ridiculous number, but as a Dom, it’s my job to make sure my sub is in a good headspace and that he remembers he’s important to me.”
How could I explain it?
“This is not going to be true for every sub, but from the new ones I’ve met, a common struggle is feeling like their needs are a bother. A lot of them seem to have a quiet voice in the back of their head telling them things that aren’t very nice about themselves.” I could see something struck a chord because his lip was being tortured again.
We weren’t at the point where I could ask what he was thinking about or connecting with, so I stayed on track. “Every sub is different, but if those are struggles that my boy has, it’s my job as his Dom to help him with that…and one of the ways I would do that is check-in times and rules that make him feel important.”
That seemed to be the least a Dom should be doing for his sub.
