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“Once I know where she is, here’s what we’ll do,” our PI says. “I will arrange for your flight to Seattle. There’s a marine trade show coming up, which some prominent companies are taking part in. Of course, Hartley Marine won’t. But we’ve got some of our associates involved in the event. You’ll attend that trade show—which everybody, including Fletcher, will see as a gesture of goodwill. You’ll only need a few hours there just to show your face. Then you’ll sneak out, and I’ll take you to her.”
The bitter part of me is urging me to fire this man, but I know his plan is sound. “Fine!”
“Clay,” Rob says. “There’s another option.”
“What is that?”
“Let her go.” He pauses, assessing me. “With this intact.” He taps at my left pec.
“I’m not chasing her, Rob. I just want to look her in the eye when I ask her why.”
28
ISABELLE
The past month has gone like a blur, with no time to think about what’s ahead or to reflect on what has passed me by. It’s like my body had been sucked into a tunnel and then spat out to this foreign land called Alaska. But inside, every cell in my body is stuck in California.
In Hartley Marine, to be exact. The breathtaking ocean-on-land complex, the pinnacle of Clayton’s empire, and the place where things fell apart for me.
There, I shook hands with my enemy. The shamrock tattoo on Stefan Boss has become the dire symbol of what I had brought to Clayton and his family. Donovan Fletcher has set out to bring down his rival since a long time ago. I was never the cause, but I was the enabler—I was the reason Don dared to make his move.
I would’ve sacrificed everything I’d got to make it right with Clayton. God, even before I’d known him, I was prepared to take a knife for him! And having tasted his love, I would’ve done it again in a heartbeat—even if the danger was more lethal than a knife. But that wasn’t what he needed from me.
I know what ‘worst’ can look like when Donovan Fletcher’s name is attached to it. But Clayton is capable of defending himself. With the manpower and resources at his disposal, he’ll be able to crush the Reaper sooner rather than later.
What Clayton truly needs, I can’t give. And I wouldn’t be able to live with myself had I stayed.
The desperation and sadness in his eyes when pleading with me is the regret that I haven’t come to terms with. Perhaps I never will. At that last moment, a revelation was spread in front of me. The man loved me unconditionally, no sliver of a doubt.
But love isn’t everything. In any relationship, if a party’s needs aren’t fulfilled, it’s not going to last. And when a man’s need is as primal as having his own children, there is no substitute. He may not want to admit its significance, but had I clung to him, my deficiency would become a thorn that eventually severed our bond.
The Hartleys are a family with hearts despite their power and wealth. I’ve done enough damage. They don’t deserve further woes and misfortunes because of me. For that, my decision to leave was justified.
Despite the wrongs, somehow, Hartley Marine epitomizes redemption. It came from the tiniest yet mightiest form of miracle—Rob’s and Amber’s baby. Her cry was the most beautiful sound I’d heard in a long time. Knowing that my hands were the first thing she felt when she was born into this world gave me peace, a sign that the universe still regarded me as a worthy person.
I rub my forearms, tingling from the thought of baby Hartley. I wonder what they named her.
“Mom!” Raffi calls, pointing at a creature floating in the water. “Look, sea otter!”
I smile at my constant miracle. “Cute, huh?”
The boy eagerly points his phone to take photos—well, technically, my new phone.
“Can I go there?” He gestures to the hull of our whale-watching boat.
“Of course. But don’t run, and make sure you hang on, okay?”
He throws me an ‘I’m a big boy’ look before disappearing.
Alaska is a change of scenery, for sure. Sometimes I convince myself that our time here is truly a vacation. It helps—because what you believe always translates to how you look on the outside, what you do, and what you say. I need to make Raffi feel safe, however I do it. While I stay vigilant, I try to give him as many positive distractions as possible.
I lean on the railing, watching the endless blue stretch before me. There are only a handful of people around in this part of the boat. The hull seems to be the place to be right now.
The stillness stirs the lingering grief I have for Clayton. Yet I can’t speak about it, not even a murmur in my heart. And the goddamn tears that I supposedly had a lifetime to cry never came.
But I miss him for everything he was. As a man, a friend, a lover, and a partner.
A man who reads you before you tell, a man who satisfies you even before you ask, a man who doesn’t play games and isn’t afraid of showing how much you mean to him—is a man who will cherish you forever.
