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Cassius clears his throat when my feet take me just outside the ring of firelight. Not venturing any further, I plant my feet but don’t return to the fire. I can’t sit around and relax. He fears her and not just for his loss of freedom. There’s more to it than that.
Who would have ever thought I would be so desperate to save a vampire?I shake my head. Even now, after everything I’ve been through with Alaric and for him, there are moments I still have trouble wrapping my mind around that.
“Here,” Della says, flipping the fur-lined hood over my head. She stands next to me with her arms crossed under her chest and hip jutting out. “It’s cold tonight.”
“Mmm,” I say noncommittally.
“You’re not as boring as I thought you were,” she says with a lilt, as if it’s a compliment.
I snort, running my hands up and down my arms.
“I mean it. You’re not the scared little human girl I thought you were when we first arrived at Windbury.” Della laughs to herself. “We all thought Alaric had gone mad when we realizedyouwere the human he claimed. The scent of fear clung to you the second you walked in, so we didn’t expect you to live much longer…” She trails off.
I glare at her from the corner of my eye. Wisps of fur from my hood blur her profile. Della is entirely serious and I’m not sure if I should be insulted or not.
“You’re more determined than most vampires I know… and that makes you powerful,” she says.
Giving up trying to ignore her, I swivel my head to meet her gaze. Dark eyes scan me with a look one might dare to call admiration.
Della is not the same vampire who had confided in me that she loved her sire in her strangely clinical way. And nothing like the self-important woman, insulted when I refused to kiss her hand in greeting. She’s softer now, more…human… but sorrow surrounds her.
“What did you talk to the oracle about?” I ask, glancing back at the two men chatting quietly among themselves.
Della follows my gaze. “I think you already know the answer.”
Guilt leaves a sour taste on my tongue. I do know. Some part of me has known since she stepped foot out of that cabin. The pain in her eyes when she looks at Lawrence is telling. She is in love with a man who is still in love with another woman. “I—”
“It’s all right. I never expected anything,” Della cuts me off, but her words ring false.
The longing in her voice… I understand. “But you had to try?”
She nods. I reach my hand into my pocket and clutch the vial. Nothing about being with Alaric has been easy. Love isn’t easy, but it is worth fighting for.
“She said, ‘What is meant to be will be.’”
I frown. “That isn’t particularly helpful.”
Della hums in agreement then says, “Though, in a strange way, I think that it’s exactly what I needed to hear.” She turns her dark eyes on me. They shine, thick with unshed tears. “I no longer have to hold on to hope. Perhaps now, I can finally let go.”
My heart aches for her. Hope is no small thing to abandon, but sometimes it is necessary to do so if you wish to survive.
The sound of hooves approaching silences our conversation.
“Since you refuse to sleep anymore, we will set out.” Cassius hands a set of reins to Della then leaps onto our horse, reaching his hand down to help me up. “We’ll be in the city by the time the sun sets.”
My fingers curl into my palms and I snatch my hand back, holding it to my chest as if he tried to bite me. “The city?”
His grip tightens on the leather reins. “I know you are anxious, little bird, but we cannot show up at the castle in this state.”
Gritting my teeth, I glare up at him, ignoring his outstretched hand. The kindness of his expression falls into neutrality.
“You are being impulsive again,” he points out. “Elizabeth believes I was dealing with matters at my personal manor, bringing my soon-to-be oath bonded with me, with Della and Lawrence serving as chaperons. If we show up looking as if we traveled halfway across the world, it would be suspicious.”
Cassius is right. Everything he says makes sense, but after what I’ve been through—what we’ve all been through—I find it almost impossible to have patience when we’re so close.
Slipping my hand into his, I let him lift me into the saddle.
My arms go around his waist and I press my cheek to his back. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I haven’t been able to think straight.”
