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I nod and shuffle past.
He stops me with a hand on my arm. “You can come to me with anything. Whatever it is—I am here for you.” There is an undertone adding meaning to his words and made clear in the way he gazes at me that he isn’t just talking about drawing a bath or other small gestures.
I find myself moved. My eyes prickle, growing hot as tears well up and blur his face. It’s hard to know if it’s exhaustion or the heightened emotions from the oath or the rarity of someone offering to help shoulder my burdens. Or all of it.
My smile wavers, and I bite down on my bottom lip to avoid looking like I’ve gone mad.
“I don’t know what I did to earn such kindness from you.” My voice is raspy and raw. I clasp my hands in front of me and stare down at them. Gravity makes it impossible to hold back any longer. Several fat tears slither down my cheeks, dripping onto the dark wood floor at my feet.
Cassius’s hand comes up to cup the back of my neck, pulling me in to press our foreheads together. “Kindness is not something you need to earn—it is something everyone deserves. Besides, we are friends.” Then, in a conspiratorial whisper, he adds, “And what are friends for, if not to go along with schemes and fight beside you until the end?”
My breath hitches. Cassius won’t always be with me. And there are things I cannot share with him. Yet, that doesn’t mean I must shut him out of everything. It is still difficult to open up and confide in someone… difficult to depend on someone other than myself.
A bubble of laughter rises up my throat that is half sob. I don’t want to lie and hide everything from these vampires who have become my friends.
No… they are more than that. They have become a surrogate family. Despite all our differences, we have been through so much together. They are loyal, and if any of them were cursed, I would fight for them just as hard as I will fight for Alaric.
And I am so tired of doing everything on my own… of shutting the world out. What would it be like to put my trust in someone else for once?
“It will be different to have someone to scheme with,” I say with a sniffle. It isn’t exactly a promise, but it’s the best I am able to do for now.
Cassius grins, fangs and all.
CHAPTER FIVE
CLARA
A beadof sweat trails down my temple. I focus on keeping my breath even. A strand of hair slips out of place, dangling before my eye. The moment I move to swipe it out of the way, I know I made a mistake.
From across the room, fangs flash with Cassius’s wicked grin. I blink and he’s before me. He grabs the staff, yanking it from my one-handed grip, simultaneously shoving me off balance. His foot sweeps my legs out from under me, and I’m falling.
The wooden pole flies across the room and clatters against the unforgiving stone floor. I remain suspended in midair, held aloft by a smirking Cassius. “Your eyes seem brighter today. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had something nefarious up your sleeve.”
I groan at his ridiculous attempt at flirting and lightly push against his chest. He straightens and releases me, smirking. I collect the training weapon from where he flung it.
“I didn’t expect you to want to train today,” Cassius says casually, feeling me out. “It would have been understandable if you needed to take time… it hasn’t even been a full day yet.”
I glance at him from over my shoulder. He has been walking on eggshells with me since I woke up earlier this evening. Almost as if he is afraid that I will break if anyone speaks too loudly.
In truth, I do feel entirely too fragile for what is required of me. The only thing holding me together is their support and my deal with Varin. As soon as I found a minute alone without one of them hovering, I returned to the lower levels. Only to have Varin turn me away, saying magic shouldn’t be rushed.
Lying around, wasting the precious little time I have dwelling on things, will not help me break the curse. But a demon’s power will. So, I can’t let myself fall apart yet.
It is part of why I wanted to train. I need to feel like I am something other than weak. I needed to put the nervous energy to use.
“I am fine.” I mean to say it with an air of nonchalance, though it comes out sharper than I intended. “Besides, I need to make sure I’m ready for anything.”
He gestures for me to hand him the staff. “You did well today. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly you improve,” he says as I near.
“Is it truly that much of a surprise?” Pulling my arm back, I deny him the training weapon and arch a brow. “I’ve been claimed, and now….” I don’t finish. If I don’t speak the wordsoath bonded,then I can pretend, for this brief moment, that things are as they were. I can pretend Elizabeth hadn’t doomed the man I love.
“We’ve already trained longer than usual,” Cassius says. Then, when I don’t relinquish the staff, he reaches out and flicks my braid over my shoulder. Arrogance curls the corner of his lips. “Fine, one more round, but do try not to be disappointed when I win.”
I snort. He may act overly confident, but every win he had on me today seemed to take him longer than usual. Then again, I’m never half as focused, and I have never had a demon’s power to lend me strength. When he turns his back, I reach for another one of our practice weapons.
Once we are both in position, we each nod once to indicate when we are ready. As I watch him, looking for a tale-tell sign of an impending attack, an idea occurs to me.
For as long as he has trained me, it’s always the same. I always react to his moves as he makes them, never anticipating. But now I have added strength from Alaric and Varin. So, what if…
