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Neither of us attempt to fill the heavy silence that follows. In the quiet, I have the uncanny sensation Varin is taking my measure for how well they think I will bear their power. The longer it continues, the more uneasy I become until my body hums with a rush of nerves.
I can’t help but imagine how this demon’s magic might feel coursing through me.
Will it be like Alaric’s, when he healed me the night I returned to Windbury after Kitty’s wedding? Sparks of crimson running over his hands, like veins of lightning. The tingling sensation that swiftly transformed, stealing my screams with blinding pain. The scars on my left leg prickle with the phantom burn and the echo of that vicious cold.
Or will it be worse?
I suppress a shudder at the vivid clarity of the memory but find comfort in knowing that whatever pain will come, itwillbe worth it.
What is necessary in life is often the more difficult path.All anyone can do is make the best choice from the options before them and move forward with confidence in that decision.
Thisis my choice, so I will bear whatever lies ahead. It is the least I can do.
“Then let us begin.” Varin lists their head to the side with a sharp cracking of joints.
I try to untangle my thoughts, to sort them in order of importance. But it’s no use. I am already exhausted after the events of the past day. My heart is raw, with too many jagged emotions tangled together as they vie to dominate each other…
After everything, Alaric and I still ended up in this near-impossible position. And what I’m attempting, what I need to do, what I must face is so monumental…
It’s all too much.
I squeeze my eyes shut and tamp down the urge to surrender to defeat.
If I want to survive this, if I want to have a shadow of a chance at breaking the curse, then I must find a way to stay strong. But the thought of pain makes me want to weep.
“How badly will it hurt?” The question slips out before I can stop it. It exposes the weakness I must tamp down and smother.
“It is too late for such questions,” they say evenly. A sharp edge to the whisper-soft gentleness of their voice.
There are many things Ishouldhave said, should have asked, before now. The deal is already struck. There is no point in asking because the answer will change nothing.
Ice crawls down my spine and my throat constricts as instinct takes over. I take a step back. My heel catches on the uneven floor, causing me to stumble.
Varin’s hand shoots out in a blur. The speed of the movement causes me to flinch and squeeze my eyes shut against the dizzying effect. Their bone-thin hand, hard as stone, catches me, long taloned fingers curling around my waist. Varin pulls me in until my feet dangle in the air, bringing our faces close together. The night-forged silver chains that bind them rattle.
The two burning coals of their eyes sear into me. A low growl reverberates in their throat. Uncertainty slithers through my veins, quickening my pulse until it’s a frantic drumming inside my skull.
“Even if you run now, do not think you can break our bargain so easily. I may be a prisoner, but I am not entirely powerless.” They show me exactly what they mean, each word a spell of its own.
Pressure builds and builds, nearly suffocating. Like invisible hands wrapping around my neck, squeezing… slowly killing me.
“No.” I mean to speak firmly, but I’m barely able to summon the breath to make a small, pitiful sound, but it must be enough. The pressure lifts, and air floods into my lungs, leaving me gasping.
I tentatively press trembling fingers to my neck, expecting tenderness, but there’s not a single trace that anything has happened at all.
“I wasn’t running,” I snap once I manage to catch my breath. I glare at Varin as I fight the impulse to lash out and end our agreement, leaving the wretched creature to rot here for another three hundred years. I allow the spiteful thought to simmer until reason prevails.
Varin sneers in a very human-like manner, and I’m struck by the familiarity of the moment. It snuffs out my remaining anger. How many times did I stand face to face with Alaric, believing him to be nothing more than a monster, undeserving of even an ounce of kindness?
If nothing else, I owe this demon some trust. After all, it is because of them that I was able to break the compulsion Elizabeth placed on Alaric. There is too much at stake for me to change my mind. And knowingly or not, they have revealed as much is true for them. Their desperation is not entirely hidden under the blanket of anger.
Spite and fear will not do either of us any favors.
After Mother was claimed, Father gave up on everything, and the responsibility for my family’s survival was dumped onto my shoulders. There are three rules to making deals, and I learned each of them the hard way.
One: Never let them know how much you want or need what they have.
Two: Never begin by offering the most you’re able to pay.
