AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“This is a two-pronged reconnaissance mission and we’ll be working with a team from Poland, who are looking after transport.” He nods at my brother Declan. “You get to sit this one out.”
“Benched,” Declan says with a shrug. “And miss the fun of flying in the snow.”
“The intel came in from our Paris people and you’ll be able to familiarize yourself on the flight over,” Ham continues. “This is only a look-a-round. Do not engage.”
“What if the launch silo is operational?” Tyler asks.
Ham’s gaze flicks around the room, landing on me. “You have your orders. Perry, you’ll run point for Alessia and Tyler in Stulustan; I’ll take Nick and Charlotte in Kivitenstan. Wheels up in three hours.”
Do I imagine the frown on his face? Why? He’s been my handler for years—he knows what I’m going to do before I do it. Would he rather be tech support for Alessia?
Ham clears his throat, and the sound has the same effect as if someone dropped a tray full of dishes, because Ham sounds nervous or unsure—and Hamilton Short is never nervous or unsure.
“This will be my last mission as tech support,” he announces without any preamble or warning.
Even though everyone is paying close attention, I’m not the only one who jerks with a shot of surprise. Hand-over-mouth to cover my gasp. Tech support is another word for being a handler—my handler. So, after they look at Ham for clarification, most turn to me.
I don’t know what to tell them, since I know nothing about this. During all of our movie-watching-holding-hands-driving-him-home, Ham never said one word that he’ll no longer be my handler.
What does that even mean?
“What are you talking about?” Alessia scoffs. “You’re more of a lifer than the rest of us.”
Yes, good question.
“Why?” Nick’s deep voice pulls at the word. “What’s going on?”
Another excellent question.
Ham studies the tablet he’s holding, and I get the sense he doesn’t want to share any more. But he’s going to have to.
“After this mission, I’ll be heading up operations.” Which means Ham will be responsible for every single mission, and every single agent, not just me and the missions I’m sent on.
Which makes him very much my boss.
Chapter Three
It’s expressly forbidden for agents and handlers to enter into romantic relationships. I’m sure it’s even more frowned upon if it were the head of operations and an agent.
If I wanted a relationship with the head of operations.
The thing about Ham is that he’s my best friend. And I’m pretty sure he feels the same way, but I don’t know what else he feels. Like, I’ve been having very vivid fantasies about Ham lately, at the most inopportune moments, but does he think of me like that?
Does he think about things at all that? About what it would be like to kiss me until I can’t stand up? Or what the spot under my ear might taste like? Or even what I look like naked?
I think about those things. I think about them more than I should. And it’s not the friend aspect that keeps me up at night after I’m finished thinking all these things about Ham—it’s the fact that he’s my handler. He looks after my missions, figures out the logistics, and basically keeps me as safe as he can while I’m busy doing the unsafe things.
He was my handler. That was bad enough, but now he’s everyone’s handler. He looks after all the missions, deals with all the logistics of multiple missions, and does everything he can to keep everyone safe.
Ham will be amazing in this role. The NIIA will be a better place with him taking on the new responsibilities.
But he’s not going to care about me.
Charlotte Dodd will be only one of the agents working under him, and I won’t matter more than anyone else. I won’t be his person.
That hurts more than I could have ever imagined.
The rest of the briefing is forgotten as the others swarm around Ham to congratulate him. It’s always been a forgone conclusion that he will be taking over one day only the timeline had been in question. At twenty-five, Ham is young, but like me, Ham has been groomed for the NIIA since he was a child, for leadership rather than being an agent.
