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We’ve been lucky not to get caught, but arguing with Ham isn’t helping our chances.
“Charlotte, don’t be an idiot.”
I straighten up and glare at Nick like he’s the one who has just insulted me. “First childish, then an idiot? Wow, you must be really glad to be rid of me. We’re blowing it. Look at it like a celebration of our last mission together. See you at home. Or not.” And then I tap my earpiece, and voilà—Ham’s voice is gone from my head.
Every couple should be able to do that. Only we’re not a couple. And we’re definitely not in a relationship.
Nick stares at me with a confused expression. “Did you turn him off?”
“I did.” I hand him the innocuous-looking discs we’re going to use to destroy this place. Or at least make it unusable for the foreseeable future.
“Do you think that was a smart idea?”
“Probably not, but I did it anyway.” My chest is tight, my pulse racing. I’ve never argued with Ham like that, especially not during a mission and it feels strange. Worse than strange. It makes me want to click my earpiece back on and apologize.
It’s not like I disobeyed an order; Ham doesn’t have authority over me.
He will, at least when he officially takes over, but for this mission, we’re the same level. And he’s never, ever, questioned my response to a situation.
He should be apologizing to me.
I adjust the bag over my shoulder and blow out a deep breath, ruffling my bangs sticking out from my toque. “Are we doing this?” I ask Nick.
He turns off the light, so I can’t see his expression of concern. “We are, but you shouldn’t turn off Ham.”
“He’s not my boss yet,” I hiss.
“Are you mad that he got the promotion? Because we all knew—”
I roll my eyes. “Of course, I’m not mad.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Nick asks in a low voice.
“There’s no problem. I’m trying to do my job and prevent this tiny little country from blowing up half the world, and all Ham can do is yap in my ear like some overprotective—” I catch myself with a sharp inhale.
“Overprotective boyfriend.” My eyes have adjusted to the dark enough so I can see Nick nodding sagely. “Did something happen on your movie date?”
“How does everyone know about that?” My tone is just a touch shrill, and I take a deep breath. “It wasn’t a date.”
“Do you want it to be a date?” he presses, and for a moment I forget that we’re standing too close in a supply closet in a foreign country, about to blow up government property. We’re just Charlie and Nick, having a conversation about regular stuff, albeit in the dark.
“I—” Despite the ever-present kissing daydreams I’ve been having, I’ve tried to push away the thought of Ham as anything other than a friend for so long that it’s hard to switch into possibilities of more.
What would a date with Ham be like?
Most likely, it would be a lot like our regular movie nights, or when we meet Nick and Tyler for a drink with my brothers. Relaxed. Fun. Comfortable. Because that’s how it is with Ham, when we’re not sitting in the middle of an awkward silence.
The main difference, if it were a date, would be what would happen after.
And the thought of that has me staring at Nick, wide-eyed and unable to say a word because all these scenarios are running through my mind.
Ham leaning over to kiss me when I drop him off.
“Maybe we should talk about this after this is done,” Nick says quickly, as if he can tell what I’m thinking of.
I really hope he can’t tell what I’m thinking of.
“Yeah.” I clear my thought. “Yes.”
