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“I need to talk to you,” he mumbled.
My mouth moved, not knowing what would come from his lips.
“I don’t know how to say this, but I think it’s time we go our separate ways.”
Wait, what? He was breaking up with me on our anniversary? What kind of man does that? I tried to subdue my temper, but it just kept increasing.
“It’s not you, it’s me. I just... feel like maybe we want two different things right now. You deserve the husband, house, and kids... and I’m just not ready to commit to that.”
Why couldn’t he have told me this before we left for dinner? There I was, all dressed up, and he knew he was going to break up with me before we even left my home.
“What do you mean? What happened? You couldn’t have done this before we came here? Are you freaking kidding me?”
He brushed his hands along the back of his head as his eyes glowered at the table. “Jennifer, listen... no need to cause a scene, okay? Things happen. People grow apart. It’s the fact of life. I could’ve just strung you along another two years and wasted your time. Would you rather me do that?”
Oh, Peyton was testing me, and I had been careful not to share my anger yet, but that glass of wine sitting in front of him deserved to be plastered all over his face. “So, what you are saying is... for the last six months, you have known you had no intention of getting serious, yet never once mentioned it to me?”
As I was getting older, the ticking of my biological clock was getting louder and louder, and when I met Peyton, I thought I had found the one, however now it had been a complete waste of my time.
“It’s not you. It’s me. This relationship isn’t right for me. I love you, but I’m not in love with you. That spark I need in a relationship to commit to marriage isn’t here. Isn’t that what you want? The whole shebang: husband, kids, dog, and a white picket fence?”
I had to avert my eyes; the tears stinging my vision. He knew how to crush a girl's heart.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, reaching out to touch my arm.
With a swift movement, I brushed away his hand. “Save your apologies for someone else.” The wine glass was taunting me, telling me to throw it in his face, but causing a scene wouldn’t be for my benefit. I took my last sip, pushed the chair back, and stepped out the door, feeling the sun's warmth on my skin. Peyton didn’t even try to come after me.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, and my shaking hands fumbled with my phone as I tried to text my best friend.
Me: 911. Meet me at my apartment.
My arm was flailing around like crazy in the sky to get a taxi, and I left the restaurant without looking back. My best friend was the glue that helped me put the broken parts of my heart back together many times before.
Laura had been my friend for years, and I was thankful to have her. When the taxi pulled up to my apartment building, she was standing outside with two bottles of wine. She acted as if she already knew.
Taking an unhurried stroll up to my apartment, we took our place on the cozy couch. She opened the bottle of wine and the rich aroma of the grapes filled the air as she poured two glasses. “So, spill. What the heck happened? You interrupted my weekly dose of Grey’s Anatomy. I wasn’t sure whether I needed to grab bail money. Who are we getting rid of today?”
She handed me the glass. “Peyton broke up with me.”
“Oh, that little... he wasn’t worth a crap. You deserve so much better than him, Jen.”
“Yes, you’ve told me many times, but I loved him. He said he wasn’t ready for commitment.”
“Typical guy. When the stakes become too high, they usually decide to take a step back and run away from it. You’re going to get through this.”
In the past two weeks, Peyton and I had discussed our plans for the future, including traveling, marriage, and even starting a family. Until this evening, everything had been going as expected, but now something has changed.
When our eyes met, Laura gave me a clear sign of disapproval by shaking her head. “I told you he wasn’t the right one for you from the start. He never showed full commitment to you.”
Despite being aware of the signs, I had brushed them off, convincing myself that I was being overly cautious.
“How could he do this to me?” I asked, angry and betrayed. “He just threw away everything we had built together. How could he be so heartless?” Laura tried to comfort me, but it was of no use.
Over many hours, I have spoken aloud my fury and distress. As a friend, she listened patiently and attentively, as any good best friend would do.
“Just remember to be resilient. Your life may feel like it's crumbling, but you'll find the man of your dreams.”
The more we talked, the more I realized it was for the best. I wanted a future with him, but it became clear he wasn’t ready for that. He refused to commit, and I ended up heartbroken. Despite the anger and hurt I felt, I was also grateful to have the situation end. I'm too old for someone with commitment issues.
