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“But you have Vince?”
“Only because Vince has me as a mate. Fate’s a cruel bitch.” She snorts a laugh although there’s no humor in what she said.
“Why is it cruel?”
“Well, for starters, she gave Vince a bitch for a mate. And then for me …” Her voice trails off and she straightens in her seat before staring into my eyes. “Fate decided to give me a mate. One person to love for my entirety. I will love him with everything I have, but I will live much longer than he will. I will watch him grow old, while I am ageless. I will hold his hand when he dies, yet I will live.” Red tears brim around her eyes as she smirks.
“Like I said, fate’s a bitch. I never planned this.” She huffs that same humorless laugh. “I never wanted this. I never thought I’d have someone to love. And now that I have it, I’m not sure that I should. I wasn’t made for this. It’s not what I am.” Her voice turns hard at the end and it makes my body stiffen with fear. She’s a roller coaster of emotion ranging from disbelief to sadness and ending in anger. At first I’m taken aback by her honesty, but then I focus on what she said.
“You never thought you would love?” She can’t truly mean that. “Do vampires not have the ability to love?”
She laughs, with real humor this time, and leans back in her seat while wiping away the blood rimming her eyes. I grimace inadvertently at the sight and unfortunately she sees my reaction.
“You don’t know much about vampires, do you?”
“No. I’m sorry, I didn’t—” She cuts me off before I can fully apologize.
“I’ve been a vampire for nearly two hundred years and I still despise some aspects of our species.” She wipes her fingers on a tissue and places it on the desk as if she knows she’ll need it again before trashing it; the bright red is vibrant against the stark white. “If I could change it, I would.”
“You’re two hundred years old?” Holy fuck. I don’t have enough self-control to contain my shocked expression.
“Something like that.” Her voice is flat. Then she tilts her head and a glint of happiness sparkles in her eyes. “Would you like to know how I came to be immortal? How I was changed?” Her smile widens, revealing her sharp white fangs. “I wasn’t always like this.” She shakes her head. “Vampires are a capricious species.”
I clear my throat. From what I learned of vampires in school, that sounds about right. But then again, humans in general don’t know much about them.
“Tell me.” She quirks a brow and I suppress my smile. “Please.” Her grin grows as we share a knowing look.
“I was a little older than twenty. I don’t remember what day my birthday was because it’s been so damn long. I was unmarried because I had been raised religious and thought I would become a nun. The day everything changed happened sometime around summer. I know that because there was a big thunderstorm that had just passed through our area, and where I lived the rainy season began in June.” She rocks gently, glancing out the window as if watching her recollection playing out before her like she’s watching a movie.
“I was in the rainforest foraging for my grandmother. She sent me out all the time to gather things. My mother and father had both passed away when I was a baby, leaving me alone with my grandmother to raise me by herself. She was in good health for her age and took care of me as any mother would.” A sad smile pulls at her lips. “She always said I looked like my mother.” That humorless huff of a laugh erupts from her throat. “I don’t remember her at all. I used to be able to, but it was so long ago that I can’t even picture her face anymore.” Veronica falls silent as she tries and fails to recall her memory.
“I’m sorry.” My voice brings her back to the present. Her dark eyes find mine and her grin returns.
“Don’t be, dear. My first twenty years were good years. Even if I suffered loss, I was still grateful for my life.” She visibly swallows. “At least until that day.” I settle into my seat as I watch her pull her legs into her body. “I was gathering pandan leaves in the rainforest when I found some mangoes. They were delicious; I remember that well. They were nearly overripe but I’d cut one open to taste it. Fruit is best when it’s almost too sweet, don’t you think? It was a little treat for me. A reward for going out for my grandmother.”
Her smile fades and her voice drops as she continues her tale. “I traveled to my usual area, where I knew I’d be able to find most of what she’d asked for. I was at the last pandan plant with only half of my basket full. I knew she’d need more leaves, so I went out a little farther. There was a large clearing and on the other side I spotted more bushes. The storm the previous night had left downed trees and broken branches in its wake, but somehow this clearing had been spared. It was so pretty. Undisturbed with dewdrops clinging to everything and sparkling in the light. So pure. I almost felt bad crossing through it to get to the other side.” She gently shakes her head again and swallows. “But no one lived close to us and I didn’t think I’d ruin it for anyone but myself. So I continued into the other side until my basket was full.” Her lips pull down in a frown. “I knew my grandmother would be grateful. She would’ve been so happy to have a full basket.”
Leaning forward in my seat, I clasp my hands. A hard pit forms in my stomach and my blood chills. I can tell I’m not going to like what I hear next. She clears her throat, but her dark eyes stay focused on her nails, tracing over the grain pattern in the walnut desk. She nods her head slowly. “I knew something bad was going to happen when I got back to the clearing. I could see so many large footprints in the dirt. They came from the left. I remember thinking there may have been four of them.” The red tears brim in her eyes and spill over, trailing streaks of blood down her light brown skin. I part my lips, but before I can speak, she continues. “They were werewolves. I saw them shift in front of me. Well, two did. Two didn’t.” Her breath hitches.
“I don’t have to tell you everything they did. But know that I didn’t value my life afterward. I wished they’d just killed me. Instead, they left me mangled and damaged after they’d had their way with me. I was covered in bruises and bleeding out from the injuries they’d inflicted on me. Some of the plants I’d gathered had medicinal qualities; I used them to staunch my wounds. I still don’t know how I made it back without dying. It was the longest journey of my life. Part of me wanted to stay and just succumb, but I was so scared they would come back.”
“Where did you go?” I whisper the question, not sure I want to hear more but knowing I have to.
“Back to my grandmother’s. Where else could I have gone? It was two hundred years ago. There were no phones to call for help. We lived in such a remote area, there were no hospitals nearby. The shamans in our area had all left due to religious persecution. There was no one but her.” Her sad smile returns and she laughs before she tells me, “She scolded me. When she heard the door open, she yelled from the kitchen that I’d scared her and to never do that again. And then she came out and saw me.
“She looked so broken when she saw me. When she saw my bruised body and she realized what happened. I was barely clothed and covered in blood. My grandmother was a truly devout Catholic. She said the church would help us, that they would know what to do.” She reaches across the desk for the crumpled tissue and regains some of her composure before continuing. “It took forever to reach the local priest, but he accused me of making everything up. That I must have imagined what I saw and experienced because werewolves would never do such a thing.” She straightens and faces me. “They were supposed to protect us. We had a pact with them. Apparently they were allowed to do whatever they wanted so long as the vampires were kept at bay. What happened to me was nothing more than a small sacrifice in exchange for the security they provided.” Her dark eyes harden as she spits out, “That’s what the priest told me. ‘It was a small sacrifice to pay!’ That’s the day I started to hate everyone. My grandmother was the only one who wanted justice. No one else dared to confront the wolves.” She calms herself and wipes her eyes again. I can’t even fathom her pain. To live through something so monstrous and survive, only to experience a horrible betrayal—my heart breaks for her with the injustice of it all.
“She died a few weeks later. I think the church’s refusal to intervene was too hard on her. She was so angry at everyone else and felt like she had failed me, even though there was nothing she could have done differently. Her heart just couldn’t take it. So I was left on my own, on the outskirts of the town. I lived in fear that the shifters would come back. One night I thought they did. I thought they’d come for me again.” A wicked glint shines in her brown eyes. “But it wasn’t the wolves.” Her dark red, plump lips form an evil smirk. The look on her face is one of a scorned woman who’s reaped her revenge. “No, it was three vampires. They’d come to kill everyone.” She tilts her head and I hear her neck crack as she reclines in her seat and crosses her legs. Her characteristic collected facade replaces the emotional woman who I’d just been sitting with.
“They were going to kill me. Most of the town had already been slaughtered. They decided to punish everyone who’d sided with the wolves. Not that we had much of a choice in the matter of what the werewolves did. Obviously. When they saw me, they smiled. Like we were old friends. They’d heard what the wolves had done and offered me a choice: death or the chance to have vengeance. If I’d been smart, I would have chosen death. But then again, fate wouldn’t have been able to curse my poor pup had I died all those years ago.”
“You’d rather have died than become a vampire?”
She shakes her head and purses her lips. “Not now, no. But the things I did, all out of hate and to get revenge …” Her dark eyes narrow as she meets my stare. “There can be no forgiveness for all the innocent lives I’ve taken and all the times I sat back and watched as my coven ravaged villages for sport.”
“Does your coven still …” I swallow hard, not able to get out the rest of the words.
“My old coven, I’m not sure. If they do, then they must be keeping quiet about it. The Authority has no use for those who make messes they have to clean up.”
