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“Easy to say,” Grant said. “When you don’t know anything about it.”
“Not easy at all.” That was Rhys again. “I do know something about it, and I can say. Not easy at all, and the only choice there is. What are you going to do otherwise? Throw your son away?”
“Throw both of your sons away,” Kane said. “We’re a package deal.”
“I did my best for you,” Grant said. “All I ever did was my best.”
“You did, Dad,” Luke said. “And so have I.”
A long moment, stretching out forever, and Nyree said, “And then you paid for me to go to Uni, even though I never studied anything worth learning, so who knows, hey. Change is possible.”
“That’s true,” Miriama said. “And Nyree’s grateful, darling. So am I.”
“Anyway,” Nyree said, her cheerfulness possibly forced and possibly not at all, “if you want somebody to do what you say, I reckon you should get a dog. Words to put on top of the wedding cake. Or, in this case, the pavlova.”
CHAPTER 17
Seeing Stars
Hayden danced with Luke. He could tell it was Luke’s first time ever from the stiffness in his body and the hesitation in his normally sure movements, and something in Hayden melted a little more at that. Marko’s family were playing the tango, though, guitar and violin and flute and more, and Marko and Nyree were teaching the rest of the group the dance. Anyway, at this point, everybody knew they were gay, so—no time like the present. Seize the day, and all that.
There was coming out, though, and then there was dancing the tango with your male lover in front of his rugby-coach dad, while said dad drank yet another beer and looked like his head would explode, and also like he was wondering whether it was still called infanticide if the kid was in his thirties.
Luke didn’t talk much afterward, just helped clear up the detritus of the day, rinsing out the astonishing number of bottles and carrying them to the bin, hauling tables and chairs, then getting into Marko’s dad Ander’s ute with Marko’s little sister to return the many borrowed items to the neighbors. When Ander said, “No worries, I’ll do it tomorrow,” Luke said, “Nah. I may as well. You’ll have the sheep to take out, and I haven’t had any drink.”
Marko’s dad looked at him, long and slow, and Luke didn’t flinch, though Hayden thought he might want to. Finally, Ander said, “I’ll say thanks, then.”
Luke said, “Nyree’s my sister. Least I can do.” Which was practically a declaration from Luke, and was probably masking what he was really feeling—a strong desire to be out of here.
By the time Luke got back, the hills and the few scraps of cloud overhead had turned a brilliant orange and the lake was glowing like a sapphire. Luke found Hayden sitting on the patio, sat down beside him with yet another bottle of fizzy water, and said, “Nice out here. Sunsets are always better in the mountains, not sure why. Nearly nine-thirty, too. Close to the longest day of the year.”
“Yeh.” Hayden stretched out his legs and took in the view some more. He’d found a jumper, because there was a bit of nip to the air now, but Luke was still in his shirtsleeves, seeming unbothered by cold. “The sunsets are more brilliant up high because the air’s thinner, which means more colors of the spectrum can make it through. Also no air pollution.”
“You know some things,” Luke said.
“No. Isaiah knows some things, and he tells me. He texted me while you were gone and told me that the Mackenzie Basin is a Dark Sky Reserve, so I should make sure to look at the stars, especially since it’s a new moon and not going to be cloudy. He also says we’re having a geomagnetic storm, which means solar winds and a greater chance to view the Aurora Australis, except that it’s summer, so, alas, probably not. I shouldn’t try to take photos of the stars, he says, just observe, because observing is better anyway.”
Luke said, “I agree about that one. I was just thinking that today, that living is better.”
“Than dying?” Hayden asked. “Well, yeh.”
Luke smiled. “Than not paying attention, I meant. Living in the, uh …”
“The moment,” Hayden said. “I wonder how much I do that.”
“I do it in rugby,” Luke said. “No choice. Not always otherwise.”
“Well,” Hayden said, “maybe we should try to do it tonight.” Feeling a little shy again. He’d told Luke he loved him. He’d always calibrated that, before. Six months was the absolute minimum, and it had been more like six days. This whole thing was like careening downhill on your bike without brakes, and Hayden wasn’t much of one for careening.
“We should,” Luke said. “Upside of being in a tent, maybe. You can stick your head out and see the stars.”
“I’ll go get ready for bed, then,” Hayden said, choosing his words carefully and feeling his tongue go thick, as if he’d been drinking instead of relentlessly sober all day, “since there may be a bathroom open now. There was a general exodus a while ago. I get the feeling there may be some sex happening in there, though it’s tactless of me to say it. The tango is a bit sexy.”
“Very sexy,” Luke said, “and my first time.” He looked straight at Hayden. “Glad it was with you.”
It was nearly too dark to navigate by the time Hayden came around to the back of the house. That was how quickly night had fallen. Luke was, fortunately, standing outside the tent, which meant Hayden wasn’t blundering around knocking into things, especially since he couldn’t hear more than a murmur of voices from a couple of the tents, so most people were probably asleep and wouldn’t have appreciated his waking them. Their tent was small, one of those two-man deals in which you could just about sit up and that was all.
“How long has it been since I’ve been in a sleeping bag?” Hayden asked, when they’d crawled in. “I am an urban animal.”
