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Maddy stepped forward and hugged me. “Huck came here, which means our friendship is just beginning.” When she let me go, she winked at me, then headed for the door.
It swung open before she got there, and Huck filled the doorway. His gaze shot past her and locked on me. Just the sight of him made my chest swell. I wanted to keep him, and the fact that I wasn’t going to get to was shattering me.
Huck started toward me in long strides, looking so fierce that I worried that maybe I should have had Maddy stay. Was he mad because I’d had his boss’s wife help me leave? That might have been a mistake.
“Fucking hell, Trinity,” he said as he reached me and pulled me against him. I could hear his heart beating fast as his arms tightened around me. “Don’t ever leave me again.”
My hands gripped his shirt, and I buried my face against him, wanting to soak him in. He smelled like whiskey and cigarette smoke. But thankfully, I didn’t smell another woman’s perfume. Maddy hadn’t taken me into the club downstairs, and I hadn’t wanted to see it. Even knowing he’d been here last night, possibly with another woman, I wanted to hold on to him and never let go.
Did love make you this crazy? Shouldn’t I pound on his chest and tell him how much it’d hurt that he’d ignored my text and been here, watching other women strip? Yes, I should. And I was going to, if I could stop clinging to him.
“Why did you leave me?” he asked. His voice was strung tight, like he was in pain.
“Because you wanted to be with other women. I thought that meant we were done,” I said against his chest, not looking up at him.
“What? Trinity, look at me.”
I took a deep, calming breath, then did as he’d asked.
His hands cupped my face. “Baby, I don’t even see other women. You fucked me up. I just see you. Just want you.”
The lump in my throat was getting thicker. “But you were here last night.”
He nodded. “In a dark corner, alone, drinking, not facing the stage. No women.”
God, how I wanted to believe him. If this wasn’t a dream and he was really saying these things, then I wanted them to be true more than I wanted my next breath.
“I heard Gage and Levi last night. Gage heard a woman in the background when you were on the phone.”
He groaned. “That was one of the waitresses. Yes, I ordered drinks, but that’s it.” He brushed his thumb over my cheek. “I couldn’t pick her out of a lineup. I don’t even know her name. I wasn’t here because of you or us. I … I was sent something, and it was hard. Real fucking hard, and I had … have a lot of shit to work through, and that’s going to take me a while. My head was in a bad place last night.”
He looked pained, as if it hurt to even think about what had upset him. I looked into his cornflower-blue eyes and wished I could make whatever was hurting him go away.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m going to, but it was too raw yesterday. I’ve made some mistakes in life, but not like this. Not this brutal. Forgiving myself might never be something I can do.”
I put my hands over his and leaned into him. “You have me. I lo—” I stopped, realizing that I was about to tell this man I loved him. Not a good idea.
He inhaled sharply. “Not yet,” he said through clenched teeth. “Don’t finish that sentence.”
The way just a few words could crush me when they came from this man. I nodded, feeling as if he’d just shaken me, reminding me that loving him was not part of the deal. But it was unfair that he thought he could control my heart when not even I could control it.
“Jesus, baby, stop looking at me like that.” His voice was strained. “Sit down. I was going to wait until we were home, but you need to see this.” Then, he let out a defeated sigh. “And after you see this, if you still want to finish that sentence …” He trailed off.
I walked over to the sofa and sat down on the closest end to me, keeping my eyes on Huck. The muscles in his neck flexed as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. His eyes looked like they held a world of suffering in his gaze. I wanted to make it go away. Hold him and tell him I loved him. Tell him how loving him had changed me. How he’d given me something I hadn’t known I was missing.
Huck stepped over to me and held the paper out to me. “Read it.”
Confused, I reached for it and unfolded it slowly. Part of me wanted to understand what was wrong with him, and the other part wasn’t sure I could bear it if this was causing him such torment.
When I opened the folded paper, the first thing I realized was that it was a letter, but it was the second thing that knocked the wind out of my chest. This was Hayes’s writing. My eyes shot back up to him.
He pointed at the letter. “Read it.”
Huck,
Hey, big brother. I’m going to start this by apologizing. For everything you’re going through, for my being weak, and for not being the brother you deserved. I was never like you, but I wanted to be. I wanted your strength, fearlessness, loyalty. When I looked at you, I saw Dad, and I loved you and hated you for it. I wanted to see Dad when I looked in the mirror, but that was never going to happen. I wasn’t like Dad. That was all you.
