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Huck ran a hand over his head and sighed heavily. “It arrived in my post office box yesterday. I don’t know who sent it. Whoever he had left it with was supposed to have sent it at his death. They had known he was going to do this. I have to know who knew. The minister and his wife must not be above lies. I guess suicide is a worse evil than lying about the cause of your grandson’s death. That sickens me. They were fucking embarrassed and lied about it.”
I wasn’t going to make excuses for them. He was right. They preached against sin when they had so many in their closet.
I wrapped my arms around him and held him. I couldn’t make his pain go away, but I could comfort him. I had only known Hayes for six months. He was Huck’s brother. The grief was going to stay with him for a long time. I pressed my face to his chest, wishing I had the right words for both of us.
“It’s like losing him all over again.” His deep voice was laced with sorrow.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t home when you got there. I can’t promise insecurities will ever go away,” I whispered. “If I’d had any idea you were hurting, I’d have come to find you. Not left you.”
We stood there for several moments, saying nothing. There were times in life that words only filled a voice and served no purpose. This was one of those.
“Trinity,” he said, breaking the silence.
“Yes?”
“Never fucking leave me again.”
Thirty-Five
Huck
You didn’t truly heal from loss. I knew that all too well. When I’d lost my parents, they’d left me Hayes. He hadn’t been taken. It was what had gotten me through my darkest times and my grief.
As I lay in my bed with Trinity asleep in my arms, the words in Hayes’s letter kept replaying over in my head. I couldn’t help but think that he had known once I saw her, was around her, that I would want her.
He had made it sound like she would need me, but fuck if it wasn’t the other way around. Hayes had left me Trinity. I had always believed we were born, we lived, we died. Dust to dust. Made sense. No faith in supernatural beings or powers. I dealt with facts.
Until now.
Sometimes, things happened that couldn’t be explained. My walking into that house and finding her six months after my brother’s death couldn’t have just been a coincidence. Or fucking luck. The more I tossed it around in my head, I couldn’t help but think my brother had had a hand in it. That he was watching over both of us, even after he was gone. Which meant my facts might be bullshit after all.
I looked down at Trinity’s head on my chest. Just having her made the bad shit easier to accept. Knowing that she was mine, I could deal with the pain, regret, loss. My little brother had known somehow that she was for me. He had also known if he told me that in a letter, I’d send someone else to watch over her.
My arm tightened around her body. “I love you,” I whispered, knowing she was asleep but needing to fucking admit it anyway.
She moved then, and her head tilted back until those almond-shaped eyes met mine. The room was dark, but I could see the different emotions flickering within those depths. Earlier today, she’d almost told me the same thing, and I stopped her. Then, I lied about why. The truth was, I hadn’t wanted the first time I heard her say those words to be tarnished by the grief that the letter had caused.
I had also wanted to say it first.
“Did …” She paused, then blinked a couple of times. “Did I dream that?”
A smile tugged at the corner of my lips. Damn, she was cute.
“What exactly?” I asked, although I knew what she was asking me.
A frown wrinkled her forehead, and she dropped her eyes, then moved her head back to where it had been. “Nothing,” she whispered.
I rolled her onto her back and held myself above her. “Oh no, you don’t,” I told her as I leaned down to press a kiss to the corner of her full lips.
“I was dreaming,” she said, then lifted her head just enough to kiss my lips.
“Hmm,” I replied as I pulled her bottom lip between my teeth. “Tell me what you were dreaming then.”
She made a sexy little sound and arched her body toward mine. “Nothing.”
I trailed kisses over to her ear. “That stings, baby,” I whispered in her ear.
She tensed, and her body went still beneath me. “What?”
