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“That hasn’t happened for a long time, Jarrn, but you win.” She flounces out of the room and slumps onto the couch with an audible sigh.
She tucks her feet on the cushion and hugs her knees. It’s the perfect posture to hide her face from me.
“My disability payments ended a month ago. I can’t return to the Fire Department because I can’t grip tightly with my left hand. I’ve got bills to pay. I used to shake my ass pretty good at the club. The scarring hasn’t affected that.”
She turns her head to look at me, silent tears tracking down her cheeks. I hate that I pressed her like that, but we needed to put an end to all the evasion and dancing around the truth.
“They liked my audition tape.”
She huffs, as if me sending in an audition tape is the worst thing she’s ever heard.
“Look at the bright side. I get to travel for three months on theJeweled Empresswith the Monsters in Review Dance Troupe.”
“Dance troupe! What a nice way of describing a group of male strippers,” she snarks. I’ve seldom heard this tart tone coming from her pretty mouth.
“Yes. Monsters in Review will travel the galaxy shaking our asses, wearing very little. At the end of the quarter, the base pay alone will cover a year’s rent. I’m told I’ll make at least five times that amount in tips.”
“It’s just the name… monsters.” Her furrowed brow makes her look so unhappy.
Delia and I have known each other for a year. In that time, we’ve developed a deep friendship. I know why she hates this as much as she does. She feels responsible for my injuries. We’ve argued about this in the past, and I have no doubt we’ll argue about it in the future–if she ever speaks to me after tonight. But for now at least, that argument has been put to rest. As much as I’d like to go back to work as a firefighter, that’s not an option.
“The good news is that you can work on your screenplays and post on your blog from anywhere, And if I accept within the next 24 standard hours, they’ll allow a friend to come along and have their own room, all expenses paid. You could come with me.” I know it’s manipulative, but I add, “It would make it bearable.”
Chapter2
Delia
“Iknow I resisted this, but I’m getting excited,” I say as Jarrn and I stand on the space station in the staff line slowly moving toward the cruise ship, theJeweled Empress. Once all the guests are on board, the ship will depart port and sail into the stars, stopping at various planets for excursions before slowly meandering back to the space station. Jarrn said we’d get to go on a few tours during his breaks, and we won’t even have to pay.
He shoots me a grin that twists the scars on his face. “I knew you’d finally come around.” He wraps his big arm around my shoulder and tucks me into his side, nuzzling my hair like he’s my big brother. “Imagine the stories you’ll be able to tell about our cruise.”
Because I can’t resist, I poke his side, continuing the play we fell into months ago. He chuckles, and I laugh with him. I know exactly where he’s most ticklish.
Releasing me, he urges me to step onto the gangway ahead of him. He nods to someone standing nearby, his easy grin falling. He drags his gaze away from her, directing it to the floor.
Like every day since I stopped in his hospital room to tell him I was sorry, my heart’s crushed. I did this. I took an attractive ogre and molded him into what he is today. I’ve seen pictures of what he looked like before. I heard about his girlfriend who left him.
I ruined his future, stole his childhood dream of starring in vids, and left him no choice but to take this job. He might see it as a fresh start, but despite befriending and helping him since he was discharged from the hospital, it’s no fresh start for me. I can’t get past what I did.
“I can’t believe we’ll be cruising for three months,” I say, striving to sound light. “It’s going to feel like a vacation.”
“We’ll both be working, but we’ll have plenty of time to hang out.”
Me, writing, which I can do anywhere. Jarrn as one of the “studs” in the cruise ship’s latest venue,Monsters in Review. As he said, he’ll shake his ass while females–and males–ogle his exposed flesh and toss him credits.
I shouldn’t be jealous that he’ll flaunt his body for them but never for me. He doesn’t want anything more than friendship from me. And it isn’t like he’ll take them up on their offers.
Which he’ll field on a regular basis. Contrary to what he believes, his scars haven’t ruined his appearance; they make him look dangerous. Unapproachable. Sexy.
Like any other time I think about him, me, andnever us, pain steals my breath. It’s wrong to pine for a friend, but I can’t seem to help it.
“I imagine you’ll have lots of time to hang out when you’re not fielding propositions from every interested female on the ship. You won’t take them up on their offers, will you?” I bark, slapping my hand over my mouth a second after I speak.
“Maybe I should.” He frowns in contemplation. “Then I can add to my bank balance by being someone’s gigolo.” He wiggles his thick brow, and his blue eyes sparkle. “What price do you think I should charge?”
“Fates, no,” I say with a laugh that comes out too high-pitched. Because I’m jealous. He isn’t mine. He never will be.
But I still want him.
