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I broke down into tears.
***
“It’s going to be like a sleepover, don’t worry about it.”
Anne held my hand as we sat on her studio apartment couch, my bags with everything I owned pushed to one side, my pride buried beneath my shame.
“Besides, I always wanted a roommate!”
I had grown up with Anne, and it had been such a relief for the both of us when we found out we had been accepted into the same college. Of course, her rocky history at home meant she was more than happy to leave and be on her own. I hadn’t felt that way, though. Not until now.
“We’re going to get through this, I promise,” Anne said, holding me as I wept.
The shock of being thrown out of the house had worn off the minute I stepped into Anne’s apartment. Now all I felt was dread, abandonment, and severely overwhelmed. The world had come crashing down around me hard, and I was lying under the rubble.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I won’t be here for long. Just until I get on my feet.”
“Shut up,” Anne said. “You’re not going anywhere. You’re living here for as long as you want, and more even. You need help, Mar, and I’m going to be right here for you whether you like it or not. I’m not letting you go.”
She hugged me to her, and I hugged her back.
I didn’t stop crying for days.
Chapter 6
Martha
Five years later
“But, mommy, I miss you!”
I switch my phone from one ear to the other as I adjust my laptop bag strap on my shoulder. “I miss you too, Jimmy, but mommy is really late for class now.”
“You don’t need to go to class,” came my son’s voice back to me in a whisper, as if he were sharing a deep secret with me.
“I know,” I whisper back, “but we can’t tell anyone. I have to keep pretending, or else I’ll get caught.”
Jimmy giggles on the other end, and my heart does a flutter. Five years now, and he still makes me weak when he giggles. Ever since the first time I held his small hand in the delivery room, sweating and tired and feeling like I had been hit by a truck, I knew that I would do anything for this boy. And in five years, that sentiment hasn’t changed at all.
“You’re good at pretending,” Jimmy said.
“Right?” I chuckle. “Thank you, baby, that means a lot coming from you. Now I have the confidence to take on the world.”
“Go, mommy!”
“My number one fan!” I laugh.
“Auntie Anne wants to talk to you.”
“Put her on, sweetie.”
Anne was my saving grace. She had kept to her word, and through it all, she never left my side. She was as much a mother to Jimmy as I was, and even with her stressful work schedule, she was always able to make the time to cover for me. There was no one in my life more important than her…well, except for Jimmy, of course, and knowing she would take on the world to protect him only made me love her more.
“On a scale of one to ten,” Anne’s voice replaced my son’s, “how freaked out are we?”
“Twelve,” I replied.
“So you’re in the perfect headspace.”
