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As much as I wanted to throw caution to the wind and take a chance on Albin, I couldn’t. Between Louis’ betrayal and the fear of Horace in the shadows, trying to dismantle the life I’d worked hard to build with his bare hands, I didn’t know if I could ever trust a man again. Granted, I had a feeling Albin was different, he had proven himself on more than one occasion, but I didn’t know if I had it in me to take another leap of faith.
Not on the father of my child, of all people.
Too much could go wrong if things didn’t work out.
And I had to think about Jimmy.
Regardless of the pull I felt for Albin, a living, breathing thing that pulsed between us I needed to put my son first. Since I was the only family Jimmy had ever known, outside of Anne, I was not going to put myself in a position where I could lose him. More and more, I realized how important it was not to jeopardize that.
Why couldn’t things be different?
Why couldn’t I have stayed in the snowcapped mountains with Albin?
My life would’ve been better if I hadn’t run away.
But I couldn’t take it back now.
“Martha?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you okay?” Albin sat down across from me, a concerned expression on his face. “You look a little pale.”
I swallowed and cleared my throat. “I’m fine.”
Albin leaned forward. “If this is about your position, we can work out the details. I’m sure we can reach an agreement that suits us both.”
I tilted my head to the side and stared at him.
He smiled at me, and my stomach gave an odd little lurch.
Albin really was something else, and I couldn’t deny the swell of emotion in my chest when he looked at me. Nor could I deny the swarm of butterflies beating mercilessly in my stomach, reminding me of why I was drawn to him, to begin with. Having spent so long trying to deny my feelings for him, I was no longer sure if I wanted to.
Until Albin sat up straighter and looked over at Mr. Banks triumphantly, shattering my illusion. While the offer to work for him was generous, and I was touched by the gesture, I also knew I couldn’t take it. Working for Albin was only going to mean putting myself under the microscope, and he had already spent enough time with Jimmy as it was. In time, Albin was going to put the pieces together, especially if we were still in each other’s lives, and I wasn’t ready for that.
Not by a long shot.
I didn’t want both Jimmy and I to be so dependent on him.
Without warning, I rose to my feet and clasped my hands behind my back. “Thank you for considering me, Mr. Banks, but I’m afraid I will have to decline.”
Mr. Banks’s eyes tightened around the edges. “If you turn this offer down, Ms. Auden, there will not be a second one.”
“I’m aware of that, Mr. Banks.”
He looked away from me and said nothing, pressing his mouth into a thin white line. Wordlessly, Albin rose to his feet and followed me outside, matching his stride to mine. In the elevator, he tried to take my hand, but I inched away from him and kept my gaze fixed ahead. Once we stepped outside into the late morning sun, Albin twisted to face me, and the hopeful expression on his face broke my heart.
I had to do the right thing, but it didn’t mean I wanted to hurt him.
“I’m glad you’ve decided to take the offer. Don’t worry. I’ll also talk to HR and make sure that we’re upfront about our relationship so that it won’t be an issue.”
I shook my head and took a step back. “I’m not going to be working for you.”
Albin’s expression fell. “I don’t understand.”
“I can’t come and work for you, Albin. I barely know you, and you’ve been very nice to me, but it doesn’t mean we would be a good fit, professionally, I mean.”
“I’ve seen your CV, Martha,” Albin told me. “You’re going to be a great fit at the company, and I meant what I said about you being an asset.”
