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“Thanks for getting me home, Mar.” I stood up straighter and peeled off my jacket. After tossing it into a nearby empty chair, I bent down to take off my shoes. “I’m glad you could find me.”
“Mar? Who’s Mar?”
I stood up and squinted, but I couldn’t seem to make out her features. The blood was roaring in my ears, and I couldn’t ignore the dull ache in my chest. When I ran a hand over my face and paused to rub my eyes, my vision cleared, and I realized it wasn’t Martha in front of me. Instead, Lily stood in the center of my apartment with her hands on her hips, bathed in the soft glow of the lamp.
“What are you doing here?”
“You told me you wanted me to come up,” Lily replied. “Don’t tell me you changed your mind again.”
I let my hand fall to my side and straightened my back. “You’re not supposed to be here, Lil. I already told you that I’m not interested.”
Lily let her hands fall to her sides and covered the distance between us. “So, why did you invite me up then? You’re clearly upset, Alby. I could cheer you up. Just like old times.”
I held a hand out in front of me. “No, the only reason you’re here is because I thought you were Martha.”
Lily huffed, and her expression turned annoyed. “What does Martha have that I don’t have?”
“Everything,” I replied before brushing past her. I held the door open and gave her a pointed look. “Please leave.”
Lily bent down to pick up her purse and strode towards me. “Fine, but don’t come crying to me if it doesn’t work out.”
“You don’t know anything about Martha.”
Lily lingered in the doorway, her eyes never leaving my face. “No, but I know you. You don’t fight for the things you want. Once things get serious, you run. It won’t be any different with Martha.”
“Get out,” I repeated, my eyes tightening around the edges. “Next time you see me at the bar, don’t talk to me.”
Lily tossed her hair over her shoulders. “Fine with me.”
With that, she tossed her hair over her shoulders and stomped off. I slammed the door shut behind her and ran a hand through my hair. Still, her words kept reverberating inside my head. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew Lily was right. She knew me well enough to know how I would react, and she had known me long before I lost my parents.
She was one of the few people alive who knew what I was like before.
And I hated that.
I didn’t want her to be among the few who knew the truth, the man behind the mask. When I began pacing the entire length of my apartment while a fire roared in the fireplace, casting long shadows across the wall, it dawned on me that what I really wanted was Martha.
I wanted her to know me inside and out.
I wanted Martha to be the one I came home to on the good and bad days, and I wanted her to be the one I crawled into bed next to every night. In the morning, I wanted to wake up with her by my side and kiss her like we had all the time in the world.
Martha was the one I wanted to be with.
And when I found her again, I had every intention of telling her how I felt and throwing caution to the wind. I clung to the thought as I stumbled into the bathroom and changed out of my clothes. The headache in the back of my skull spread and grew until my entire head hurt. With a frown, I crawled into bed, pulled the covers up to my chest, and fell asleep.
In the morning, the headache was still there, as was the bad taste in my mouth. After a quick cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal over the sink, I hurried out the door. Once I set foot outside, I nearly collided with Martha and knocked her off her feet. At the last second, my hand went to her waist, and I righted her.
She tilted her head back to look up at me and said nothing.
A moment later, I dropped my hand and took a step back, my eyes widening in surprise. Standing there underneath the early morning sun, in her knee-length green dress, and with her loose curls around her face, she had never looked more beautiful nor more determined. A few people jostled past us, but she didn’t pay them any attention and instead fixed her gaze wholly on me.
When my eyes traveled back up to her face and I saw the look in her eyes, I knew something was wrong. She clasped her hands behind her back and cleared her throat. “I’m glad I ran into you.”
“I’ve been trying to call you. Are you okay? Is Jimmy okay?”
Martha stiffened. “We’re fine. I lost my phone.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I can get you another one.”
