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Martha’s eyes tightened, and she shook her head. “No, thank you. I’m not here to discuss that.”
I lifted a hand to my face and squinted. “Do you want to come upstairs? I can make us something to eat.”
Martha took a step back, her face still giving nothing away. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to go upstairs with you.”
“Why not?”
Martha pulled her bag up to her face and pulled out a piece of paper. She unfolded it and smoothed it out before handing it to me. “I spoke to a lawyer, and she helped me come up with an agreement.”
I took the paper from her and frowned. “What is this?”
“Visitation rights,” Martha replied, with a tilt of her head. “Since you’re becoming a more active in Jimmy’s life, I thought it was important for us to dot our Is and cross our Ts.”
I lowered the paper and glanced up at her. “I don’t understand. Why are you doing this?”
“Jimmy needs stability in his life.”
“What’s wrong with the current arrangement?”
“It needs to be amended,” Martha replied, her eyes fixing on a spot over my shoulders. “There are a lot of things we didn’t factor in when we agreed to spend time together.”
“Like what?”
“Like our personal lives. You and I had lives before we ran into each other again, and we do have lives outside of Jimmy.”
The dull roaring in my ears grew louder.
On either side of us, people rushed past us, hunched over their phones. I ran a hand over my face and blinked. “Okay, I’m not sure what’s happening, but I really don’t think this is a good time to talk about it.”
“There’s never a good time to talk about things like this,” Martha told me with a lift of her chin. “It’s like a Band-Aid. It’s better to just rip it off and get it over with.”
“How is visiting my son like a Band-Aid?”
Martha blew out a breath. “Please don’t make this any harder than it has to be, Albin. I think this is for the best. You and I can continue to co-parent Jimmy together, but we won’t have to deal with each other as much.”
“Deal with each other? Is that what I am to you, something you have to endure?”
Martha made a low noise in the back of her throat and looked directly at me. “Of course not, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to deal with me. Or that you have to be a part of my life to be a part of Jimmy’s life. It doesn’t have to be like that.”
I balled up the piece of paper. “That’s insulting, Martha, and you know it. I’ve never once said or done anything to make you feel that way, and I am not going to sign this.”
Martha exhaled. “I had a feeling you were going to say that, so I had this made too.”
She reached into her purse and pulled out another piece of paper. I snatched it out of her hand, annoyance, and frustration building up within me. After a quick look at the paper, I made a low, frustrated noise in the back of my throat and looked up at her. Martha remained unfazed, her arms folded over her chest and a look of fierce determination on her face.
What had changed between us?
Why was she hell-bent on keeping me out of her life?
“I am not going to sign this either. This one gives me no visitation rights,” I said through gritted teeth. “What the hell is happening, Martha? I don’t understand. We’ve been spending time together, and it’s been good. What is all of this?”
“You can’t have it both ways, Albin,” Martha told me after a brief pause. “You can choose one or the other, but either way, you and I need to lead separate lives. For Jimmy’s sake, we should try and make this as uncomplicated as possible.”
I balled my free hand into a fist at my side. “And if I refuse?”
Martha’s eyes snapped to attention. “What do you mean if you refuse? You can’t refuse. You can’t force me to be in your life.”
“No, I can’t. You’re right about that, but I can refuse to sign these papers until you tell me what’s really going on.”
