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Principal Randolph cleared her throat, surprising us from where she stood next to another classroom with a clipboard in hand. She eyed us from over her glasses and shook her head. “Keep it professional, ladies.”
I hadn’t rushed out of school so fast since I was a teenager running from Bad Mood Banner.
33
***Cyrus***
Ilookedatthepicture of her pouty face one more time before turning my phone off and getting out of my truck. Sam was standing at the end of Poppy’s driveway, waiting on me and Jude. Jude parked behind me and we all stood together for a second, looking marginally less awkward than we probably felt.
Sam sighed and popped his neck. “Why do I feel like I’m walking into a breakup?”
“I did get ‘let’s talk’ vibes.” Jude ran his hand over his head. “Too bad for her, she can’t get rid of us.”
I slowly shook my head. “She won’t try to get rid of us. For some reason, she likes us.”
Poppy’s front door opened and Bogie came sprinting out. Poppy stuck her head out a second later. “I was thinking we’d actually hang out inside. Less traffic, you know?”
My chest tightened at the sight of her. The smile on her face was a relief to see. “Good to see you’re still a smartass after a week away from us.”
She lifted her shoulder and I realized she was wearing one of my old T-shirts. It was so worn out that it practically hung off her body, so I knew it had to be from before she’d moved back to town. Seeing her in it before might not have affected me, but seeing her in it after we’d started this fake date journey was a gut punch. Her shoulder was bare where that shirt had slipped down her arm. Bare and silky smooth, I knew from our night together.
“If you were waiting on me to lose my sass to come back around, you would’ve been waiting for more than our lifetimes.” She crooked her finger at us, telling us to hurry. “I’m letting all my air out waiting on you fools. Come on!”
Sam cleared his throat and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Whose shirt?”
“Mine.” I made eye contact with both men and gripped the back of my neck. “Fuck my life.”
Jude smacked my chest and strode toward Poppy. “Better you than me. My self-control is shit these days. Obviously.”
Poppy stepped out of the way of the door to let us in and I watched as she twisted her fingers together nervously. “Sit, sit. I’ve got beers. I’ll get them.”
Sam sank into the couch next to me and frowned. “Since when does she get the beers? Bogie got trained for a reason.”
I looked down at the goofy dog slobbering on my feet. I’d hardly say that Bogie was trained. Scratching his head, I looked up as Poppy flittered back into the living room with four beers. She was barefoot and wearing shorts so when she moved in front of me to hand me my beer, I couldn’t help looking at her legs.
“Sit down, Poppy. You’re being weird.” Sam stretched his legs out in front of him and took a long pull from his beer. “No matter what, we’re still your best friends. You know that.”
She sat on the coffee table in front of us like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her sigh felt like it would drag her straight through the table, it was so heavy. “You are my best friends.”
I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. Letting my beer hang between my legs, I watched her. There were dark circles under her eyes and she looked smaller somehow. My stomach knotted. “You haven’t been taking care of yourself.”
Her eyes widened at the tone of my voice. “I just…just let me say what I need to say before you lecture me. Okay?”
“Go on.” Jude shot me a look and turned his gaze back on Poppy. “We won’t interrupt.”
She stood up and moved to the other side of the table, putting space between us all. The shirt was so threadbare that when the evening sun hit her just right through the windows, I could see straight through it. I noticed Sam shift uncomfortably on the couch next to me and knew he’d seen it too.
“I missed you guys.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach and groaned. “I hate this. I hate having to talk about feelings and shit, but I don’t know what else to do. I’ve missed you three and I know that I owe you all an apology and I can’t exactly apologize without explaining how I could’ve ever been so careless in the first place. I just…I’m no good at this. Sara told me to just say what I’m feeling or thinking, but if you knew half the stuff I’m thinking, I’d be institutionalized by now. So, let me just start by saying that I’m sorry.”
I sat back on the couch, shocked. In all the years we’d been friends, I couldn’t remember a time when Poppy had apologized in such a sincere way. Her apologies usually came with a shoulder punch.
“What I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have kept what I was doing from each of you. I didn’t mean for it to happen that way, but I know that it was wrong. I…” She held herself even tighter. “Ugh, this is awful. I got caught up in what was happening.”
Sam and Jude seemed just as shocked as I felt because no one said a word or even moved.
“I felt pretty and girly for the first time in my fucking life and I didn’t want it to stop.” She turned to look out the window and I could see a tremor in her hands even as she clutched her sides. “I’ve never felt sexy before. It was never like that with Andrew. I was never enough for him and I spent nearly ten years thinking it was me, that I just wasn’t sexy or capable of turning a man on. I’m not girly like Sara or Kaitlyn. I’m not girly like any of the women you guys date. It doesn’t normally matter, but when I did feel it after that kiss, I just got caught up in it.”
Time was frozen. I wasn’t even sure I was breathing as I listened to the woman I’d cared for and considered my best friend for most of my life talk about herself in a way I’d never known.
