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Sara leaned into me. “I slept with him so I’m too easy.”
“Oh my god! Give him hell.”
I nodded. “Oh, we’re going to. But about that glassblowing excuse… Twice? You got that excuse twice?”
She snorted. “Same guy, two different times. It’s not even the first time I’ve lost a boyfriend because of his love of blowing things, either, unfortunately.”
“Stop dating.” I pulled Sara toward the exit. “For your own sake and because hopefully if those men stop getting dates, they’ll just wither away and disappear. Like a species of pests without a host.”
“Ooh, I love that! You ladies have fun. And feel better!”
Sara looked at me once we were on the sidewalk and reached up to touch the new bangs she’d cut herself when the asshole had dumped her. “Do I look like an idiot?”
I fiddled with them for a second and tilted my head to study them. “No. But you do look like you cut your bangs yourself in a moment of sadness.”
She sighed. “Will you help me fix them? I can’t go to my hairdresser like this. The last time I got dumped and cut my own hair, she threatened to dump me as a client if I didn’t stop making reckless hair decisions.”
“Of course.” I didn’t mention that giving me scissors tofixsomeone’s hair was probably a terrible plan. I would let her down easy later. “Okay. Tell me where he lives. Or parks his car.”
Climbing into my truck, she pouted at me while I watched her put her seat belt on. “Is this a bad idea?”
I braced myself against the doorframe. “It was a bad idea for a man to hurt my best friend for doing the same thing he did. It was a bad idea for him to not realize that he messed with the wrong woman. This, though? Us giving him a little karma? It’s a great idea.”
“And if we get caught, Charlie will probably be able to get us out of jail pretty fast, right?”
I waved her off, not mentioning that Charlie would gladly let me sit in jail just to mess with me. “We’ve got nothing to worry about. Now. Tell me where he lives. I’ll need to make a stop on the way.”
Thirty minutes later, we were parked outside of Nick’s house with a ton of cheap toilet paper and a bunch of poster boards. Sara was angrily scribbling messages about Nick’s penis while I got the toilet paper ready and made sure no one was watching us.
“The sex wasn’t even that good. I was willing to sacrifice mind-numbing sex for a chance to be happy with someone.” She looked past me and frowned. “Is that your brother’s truck?”
I glanced back at the truck driving away from us. “No. Why would he be over here?”
She shrugged. “I could’ve sworn I saw your brother.”
“Charlie’s probably at home, twiddling his thumbs while thinking of new ways to piss me off at family dinner.” I looked up at Nick’s house and frowned as I saw the door opening. “Shit, I think he’s home.”
Sara and I both sank down in our seats and giggled because it was exhilarating. I felt like a super spy and I was pretty sure Sara felt at least a little better knowing Nick was going to have to spend days picking cheap toilet paper bits out of his yard.
We watched as the jerk himself stepped out of his front door and then we both gasped when a tall brunette followed him out, their hands all over each other. I glanced over at Sara and saw rage on her face.
“Um. I’m guessing that’s not his sister?”
She gasped again when the two started making out while standing at the edge of his yard. “What the hell? He dumped me six hours ago!”
A taxi pulled up and took both Nick and his date away, leaving Sara and me staring at each other in disbelief. I pushed my mouth closed as I sat up in my seat. “That two-timing asshole!”
“Oh, I’m going to enjoy this so much. Give me some toilet paper and let’s go.”
The sun was setting quickly as we got out of my truck and crept across the street. I was sure we looked suspicious, but what we had to do wouldn’t take long. The second both our feet were on his freshly cut grass, Sara and I looked at each other and laughed maniacally before exploding into a mess of toilet paper. Nick’s yard was full of shrubs and other greenery that held on to our toilet paper expertly and I happily danced around as I threw a roll over the top of his house and watched it blow like white ribbon as it went sailing.
A familiar bark startled me and I spun around to find Bogie sprinting at me. I looked at Sara and then back at Bogie. “Am I seeing things?”
My brother’s voice was the last that I expected to hear. “No, you’re not seeing things, but you’re about to experience my foot up your ass. What the fuck are you doing, Poppy Jo Summers?”
To my utmost horror, my other three best friends, the ones who wouldn’t understand why I had to TP a jerk’s house, were suddenly standing there as well, arms crossed over their chests and angry frowns on their faces. I cut my eyes at Sara and tried to communicate with her through my thoughts.
I didn’t think this through. What do we do?
