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“What is this?” I demand with my arms crossed.
“What’s it look like?” He gets to his feet and comes to stand behind me to peek into the box. The bastard smiles and lifts the black-and-silver camera out of the box, the neck strap a busy pattern of yellow, green, blue, and purple. “Looks a lot like your old one.”
“It’s very similar. This is a Pentax ME.” I look at the camera in his huge hand and take it from him, turning it over in my hands. “I had a K1000.”
I open the film compartment and pull out a roll from the box to load it. I get it set and close the door and turn it on. It whirs as it loads the film for use, and it makes me smile. I haven’t held a camera in a long time, but damn does it feel good. The heavy weight of it, the sounds, the texture of the body, all bring back memories.
I’m lost in happier moments for a second. When I meet his eyes, embarrassment heats my cheeks for snapping at him and a shy smile takes over my face. The unsure lines of his face soften when he looks at me. His hand cups my cheek, and I close my eyes for just a second, absorbing his skin against mine, the comfort and compassion he always held, before pulling back.
“Thank you for this.” I lift the camera like he would be confused by what I’m talking about. I swallow thickly and lower my gaze so I’m not looking at him anymore and set it down in the box. Carrying it inside, Asher follows me as I set it on the dresser.
He doesn’t move away from me, and I didn’t expect him to, but I really wish he would. It’s hard to keep the wall up when he’s so close.
I busy myself with emptying the box. There’s more rolls of film and two paperback books,The Song of AchillesandThe Outsiders. They were my comfort reads as a teenager. I don’t know how many times I’ve read them. Sometimes I would pick one up and just skim to a scene that I needed to read that day, not sure what I needed when I picked it up, but I would always find it. In the pages of these books, I was comforted, shown love and family.
“You remembered these?” My voice is barely a whisper as I stare at the covers.
“I don’t think it’s possible for me to forget those two books.” Asher shoves his hands in his pockets and heaves out a heavy exhale. “You always had one or both of them with you.”
“Thank you.” I finally look at him, and he’s staring at the cover ofThe Outsiderswith a sad smile.
“You’re welcome.” He kisses my temple, his beard tickling my skin, but the movement is so natural that I doubt he even thought about it. I’m choking back emotions when he walks away, back to the pool and his phone.
I stack my things on the dresser and throw away the box, then head to the bathroom for a shower. The blanket and pillow I used are folded over the side of the tub, either from Asher or from one of the cleaning staff. I strip off my clothes and turn the water on.
In the mirror, I take in my appearance. There’s not much difference from my seventeen-year-old body and this one. In six years, I haven’t gained any muscle mass; I probably lost some, actually. I’m only an inch or two taller, while he’s gigantic. It feels like he’s taller too, not just bulkier, but maybe that’s because I feel so fucking small.
I want to take up space again.
Stepping into the shower, I let the hot water rain on my skin until the muscles underneath relax. Since I didn’t remember to grab my shit, I use Asher’s shampoo and body wash, but he doesn’t have conditioner, which leaves me with only the resort stuff. It’s not going to be enough to wrangle the curls, but it’s all I have.
Asher’s body wash on my skin and scenting the air makes my dick hard. I don’t want to want him. I don’t want to know what it feels like for him to fuck me, to love me, to use me. But my body does. Damn near desperately.
With conditioner still slicking my hand, I wrap it around my aching cock and stroke. My head drops back on my shoulders, and I moan as my eyes close. Instinct has my body doing what it wants without direction from me. It only takes a few strokes before my hips thrust into my fist, chasing the orgasm I know is waiting for me.
I use my free hand to press against my hole, teasing myself with the possibility of being filled, but in my head, it’s Asher’s fingers on my body. Asher playing me like an instrument, knowing just where and when to pluck my strings to get the sounds he wants while I’m helpless to stop him.
“Please, don’t stop,” tumbles from my lips.
My orgasm hits hard, damn near taking my knees out from under me as I ride through the pleasure pumping through my veins. Cum splatters the blue tile and my foot as my ragged breathing struggles to get enough oxygen in the humid air of the bathroom. My body is weak when I lean against the wall to regain my balance. Jesus.
I force my eyes to blink, trying to get my brain working again. I feel high as I shake my head, and make sure to wipe everything clean with a washcloth to get rid of any evidence.
Once the water is off and I’m drying my skin with a towel, I realize I didn’t grab any clothes. Fuck. My face flushes in the mirror knowing I have to either put on my dirty clothes or go out there with only a towel on. Neither one is a good option.
Maybe Asher left.
I open the door to peek out and let out a breath when the room is empty. Dodged a bullet there. I already feel exposed to him, stripped emotionally bare. The last thing I want is for him to see me actually naked.
Opening the drawers, I look for clothes and grumble at what I brought. What the hell was I thinking?You weren’t.Ugh.
I find some shorts that are long enough to cover the scars on my inner thighs and a baggy T-shirt that may have belonged to Asher at one point. I can’t keep track of who owned every piece of clothing I stole from Marcus’s room after he died. Since he was the same size as Asher, they ended up with a mix in both closets.
Does he have any of Marcus’s stuff left?
I look through the drawers for my toiletries but can’t find them. Did I not pack them? In the bedroom, I grab my bag but it’s empty.
Now I’m searching the room, opening every drawer I can find. Did they fall out somewhere? Did Asher hide my shit? The last place I have to check is the bathroom. I stand in the doorway and stare at the vanity drawers like they hold secrets. Did he put it away?
