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I wrap my hand around both of us, and his back arches off the bed with a long moan.
“That’s my boy,” I say against his throat, and his dick throbs in my hand.
Eli is dripping precum, so much fucking precum, making a sticky mess before he’s even come, but it makes the slide better when I thrust against him. I love it. The proof of how turned on he is, telling me I’m doing the right things, how close he is.
Eli digs his hand in my hair, gripping the strands in his fist and holding my face to his skin as he loses it. All my senses are filled with him. It slicks our skin, and his helpless sounds of release send me over. Our cum mixing between us and leaving us both panting in the dark. Nothing has ever felt as right as this. As touching him. He was the one I compared every girl I’ve ever touched to, and I was always left wanting.
“Fuck.” Eli releases me to cover his face with his hands. His body trembles again, but it’s not for the same reason as a minute ago. I lift onto my elbow to look down at him, and my heart sinks. His cum hasn’t even cooled yet, and he already regrets it.
“Eli—”
“Don’t.”
My stomach clenches with guilt and rejection, dousing the post-orgasm high with ice.
“Elliot,” I try again, a little more stern this time, and pull on one of his wrists. “Look at me.”
“Get off me.” Eli pushes at me, pulling his legs up in an attempt to get out from under me.This is not how I wanted our first time to go.
“No. Not until you talk to me.”
“I can’t do this with you.” His face is back to being angry. Even in the dark I can read his expression. He’s always been shit at hiding what he was thinking. Every emotion playing out across his features like a scrolling bar on a TV. It’s both a blessing and a curse.
“Do what? Orgasm?” I scoff. “Pretty sure you’re capable.”
“I can’t be.” His hands move around in a weird pattern like he’s not sure what to do with them. “Here. With you.” Eli’s eyes meet mine in the dark, and the pain is back. His eyebrows pull together, and the fight leaves his body as if he’s resigned. “It hurts too much.”
His words sting more than if he had swung at me. A bone-deep ache in my chest forms, and even with every molecule in my body telling me to keep him with me, I sit up and watch as he scrambles away into the bathroom.
I don’t try to stop him, don’t offer him comfort, or to help clean him up. Just sit and do nothing. Again.
When it’s obvious Eli is hiding in the bathroom, I take my shirt off and wipe myself off, pull my shorts back on, and lay down. I stare at the ceiling. Sleep forgotten and guilt churning so damn hard in my gut, it’s making me nauseated.
Eli used to come to me when he was hurting, when he needed comfort. Locking himself in the bathroom to get away from me is a slap in the face. One I guess I needed, but it hurts.
I rub at the pang in my chest and drag my eyes to the bathroom, wishing I could see inside.
Fuck it.
Tossing back the blankets, I get out of bed and stalk to the door. “Eli, open up.”
The light under the door tells me he’s probably still awake and pacing with the way the shadows are moving.
“Go away.” Eli’s voice is rough, like he’s been crying, and it breaks my fucking heart.
“No. Open the door or I’m kicking it in.” The shadows under the door stop moving like he’s considering that possibility. “One.” I take a step back, preparing to do exactly what I promised when there’s scrambling inside, and the door opens.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” a red-faced Eli demands.
I move right into his space, my chest brushing his so he has to bend back a little to look at me. “Stop fucking hiding from me.”
“Then get out of my room,” he bites back with just as much frustration.
Taking him by surprise, I lift him under the arms and carry him across the room to set him on the counter, forcing my way between his thighs, and lean over him with my hand on the mirror behind him.
A blush rushes up his neck, and for a second he clings to me, like he’s afraid I’ll hurt him.
“Stop touching me!” He tries to put some distance between us, but I wrap my other arm around him and keep him pressed against me.
