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“Have a good day, legs!” Holden calls as I walk away, and Asher growls before grabbing my hand.
“Seriously. Do you not listen to anything I say?” I jerk my hand back and cross my arms.Please stop touching me. I can’t take the teasing of you claiming me in public when I know the second we leave you won’t. Leaving here is already going to hurt so fucking bad. Don’t make it worse. Please.
It’s not fair. None of this.
Asher spins around and backs me into the railing of the deck, pushing his chest against my crossed arms.
“You’re giving me mixed goddamn signals here. First you sleep in the fucking bathtub to stay away from me. Then you cling to me at night, come on me, tell me I can fuck you, now I can’t touch you at all. What the fuck do you want from me?”
“I want to not get hurt. Again.” I push back against his chest so I can fucking breathe. “I don’t know how to be friends with you or to be okay with you touching me.” Apparently, the drink is loosening my tongue, and that’s not going to end well for me, but fuck it. I’ve come this far.
I turn away from him to look out over the water that’s so beautiful it looks fake. “You’re the only person I want to touch me, but I don’t know how I’ll survive afterward. You have a career to get back to, I understand, but you aren’t out.” A tear slides down my cheek and cools in the sea breeze. “If all you want is a quick fuck, to know what it’s like because we never got to, fine. But stop touching me the rest of the time. I can’t start to rely on you, just for you to leave again.”
Asher’s hand grips my hips, and he presses his chest against my back. I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing.
“I want so much more than a quick fuck.” He stops for a minute, maybe looking for words, I don’t know. “It was recently brought to my attention that every person I’ve hooked up with looked like you.”
That was not what I was expecting him to say. What the fuck?
“It really had nothing to do with how they look, but it was as close to you as I could get. I wanted you. Only ever you.” He sags and presses his forehead to the back of my head. Why is this so hard? “Come on, let’s go back to the room, watch a stupid movie or something. Just relax.”
With a jerky nod, I let him turn me and cup my face. Asher leans his forehead against mine and slides his thumb over my bottom lip. Our eyes meet, and he lowers his lips to mine, giving me plenty of time to turn or pull away. More tears fall as his mouth takes mine. It’s a soft pressure, but it’s everything. It’s all I’ve wanted for years. To be the center of his attention, to matter, to be worth it.
He slants his mouth over mine and encourages me to open for him, which I do with no hesitation. I love the feel of him against me, even knowing it’s going to hurt later. I can’t keep myself from him. Not when I’m forced to share space with him. Not when he’s offering me what I’ve always wanted. Him. Even if it is for a limited time.
What’s the saying, it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? I guess I’m about to find out.
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
Asher
Lifting Eli off his feet, he wraps his arms and legs around me so I can carry him to the room. I have to hold his skirt down so the wind doesn’t show his delectable ass to anyone walking past. His face is pressed into my neck, and I can feel his chest expand when he takes a deep inhale. He’s breathing me in and melting against me.
It’s not far from the bar’s pier to our room, and with the wristband as entry, I don’t even have to let him go to get inside. The door closes behind us with a snick, and I head straight for the bed, crawling into the center to lay down on top of him.
“Movie or . . .” I trail off, but he knows what I mean.
Eli uses his legs wrapped around my hips and grinds against me. I groan and thrust out of instinct, our cocks lined up perfectly. I guess he’s made his choice.
I grip his thigh and roll us so he’s on top. I need to see that fucking skirt. He smiles so fucking big above me, leaning onto my chest for leverage as he drags that bubble butt against my dick.
“Are you trying to kill me?” I grab his throat and pull him down for a kiss. I don’t want to think of anything but him. With my mouth ravaging his, Eli gets my pants open with jerky movements. I let go of him long enough to shove them down my legs. The slick material of his underwear slides across my hot skin, and I grab for his hips to hold on to while I thrust against him. He sits up and drops his head back, moaning as he rocks his hips in time with my thrusts.
“Lube,” I demand. “Get that hole ready.”
Eli scrambles off the bed but freezes. His cheeks flush, and his shoulders hunch a little like he’s nervous or embarrassed.
“Bedside table,” I tell him in a calm tone.
Eli looks up at me with a raised eyebrow, the question in his gaze so loud in the room.
“I had some in my bag since sometimes I hook up on the road during away games,” I answer the unspoken question.
He moves to the drawer and pulls out the bottle of lube and a condom.
Eli shimmies out of his underwear but leaves everything else on. It’s sexy as fuck to know he’s bare under that damn skirt. The urge to wreck him is fucking strong. I pull my clothes off and shift on the bed until I’m sitting with my back against the headboard when he climbs back over me. In this position he’s taller than me, and I love looking up into his baby face. He’s dirty innocence, and I love it.
The soft features with a knowing glint in his eye that tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing. It’s my undoing. With my hands on his lower back, I run my palms up the bare skin of his back and under his shirt, loving the way he arches into me.
