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“I’m definitely attracted to him, and I like him as a person. Actually, if both of those things weren’t true, there’s no way I’d even consider his offer. But I barely know him, so I can’t imagine being crushed when this ends.”
“It sounds like you’re going to say yes.”
“I think I am. It just seems like a win-win situation, for both him and me. Besides…” I paused before saying, “I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but the idea of him paying me and calling the shots turns me on.”
“There’s no reason to be embarrassed by that. I used to get turned on by being naked on camera. If I wasn’t a bit of an exhibitionist, I never would’ve done that job in the first place.” I loved the way he was so matter-of-fact about it.
“Thanks for listening, and for being so open with me. This is totally unfamiliar territory, and it’s been helpful to talk it through.”
Lark beamed at me and said, “I’m glad. Now, why don’t you come downstairs and play some Pictionary? Yolanda and JoJo are totally dominating as usual, but if you join Dylan’s and my team, we might lose less badly.”
We all jokingly called it their Psychic Lesbian Connection, because nobody could beat our landladies at that game. One of them could draw a tiny line, and the other would correctly guess it was meant to be the lighthouse of Alexandria. Spooky.
I got up and smiled at him as I said, “Come on, let’s give them a run for their money.”
5
Aleksei
Had I really just done that? Had I offered to pay the man I was wildly attracted to for sex?
Timothy should have been so offended. He should have punched me in the face. I kept waiting for that, but it never happened.
I knew it was the wrong move too, but the only thing I had to offer him was money. That was all I ever really had to offer anyone. He obviously didn’t need or want anything else from me.
And maybe this was just my attempt at trying to rationalize it, but I honestly believed that money could make a real difference in his life. He wanted to travel more than anything, and this would give him the opportunity.
I felt vaguely nauseous, but what was done was done. Now I just had to wait for his answer.
He could very well say no. Part of me hoped he would, because I honestly didn’t know if I could go through with this. How awkward would it be to go to bed with him, knowing the only reason he was there was because I was paying him?
Not that I wanted to take it that far. I mostly just wanted to hold him and kiss him. Maybe we’d do a little more than that if it seemed like he was into it, but fucking him was too much. It wouldn’t be right to take that from him, even if he consented.
A knock on the partition separating the front and back of the town car snapped me out of my thoughts. When I lowered it, my driver turned to look at me and said, “We’re here, Mr. Volkov.”
How long had we been sitting at the curb in front of my house? Probably for quite a while, if he felt the need to say something. I muttered, “Thank you, Reuben. See you Monday,” and climbed out of the car.
Like usual, I went straight upstairs when I got inside. I put on a podcast and changed out of my suit, and then, because I was really anxious, I started pacing.
There was no way I’d hear back from Timothy tonight. It was a big decision, so I was sure he’d sleep on it. He might even take several days to decide.
What the hell was I going to do in the meantime? How could I get through the next few days, or even just the next few hours, when so much was up in the air?
I really wished I had someone to talk to. The closest thing I had to a friend was Maureen, but as her employer, it would be totally inappropriate to discuss my sex life with her. Not that she’d mind, but I would.
She’d been trying to cultivate a closer relationship for years, and I felt like a jerk for turning down countless invitations to join Maureen and her wife for drinks, or dinner, or various events. I just didn’t know how to be both her friend and her boss, and this wasn’t the time to try to figure it out.
The only other people in my life were my ex-wife Laura and my son Lenny, and they both hated me. Even if they didn’t, they’d literally be the last people on earth I’d ever try to talk to about Timothy.
Laura had been a good friend the first few years we were together. That friendship was the main thing I missed about our marriage. But it had eroded over the years, replaced first with indifference and later with resentment and anger.
