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Swallowing back the animalistic urge to bloody him, I focused on my father’s voice. When he instructed everyone to turn to a certain page in their Hymnals, I didn’t bother touching mine. Unfortunately, I knew all the fucking songs by heart. He’d drilled them into me, after all.
I looked back toward Lillian again as we all began to sing, though I just mouthed the words. She swayed a little, her face paling even more. My heart lurched in my chest, and my feet itched to move in her direction.
Her father latched his hand around her arm, forcing her to stay upright. She winced, her eyes shutting for a moment, her guard slipping.
Something was definitely fucking wrong, and I was about to find out what.
Gritting my teeth, I silently moved away from my family, not giving a fuck that Father would no doubt lay into me again later.
I needed to find out what was going on with Lillian, and like fuck was I standing up there, mouthing the words to a bullshit Hymn when she needed my help.
A sort of hush fell over the room as I moved down the aisle toward the pew she was at. Never before had I stepped out of line, and everyone was no doubt wondering what the fuck I was doing. “Excuse me,” I murmured to the couple in my way. They quickly moved back, plastering the backs of their legs to the pew seat so I could slip by. Lillian’s eyes were still shut, and she looked on the verge of passing out.
“Lillian, sweetheart, what’s going on?” I asked her, not caring that my voice carried over the church. I wrapped my arm around her waist, shooting her father a pointed look. He had half a second to release her arm before I snapped his wrist and fucking made him. I didn’t give a fuck who witnessed what I did.
“She’s fine,” he told me, barely restrained anger leaking through his words, but smartly, he released her.
“I’ll be the judge of how my fiancée is feeling,” I calmly told him. Whispers fell over the church at my announcement. Apparently, it hadn’t gotten everywhere yet that Lillian and I were already engaged.
Lillian sagged against me, and I gently made her take a seat before crouching in front of her. She moaned softly in discomfort, beginning to look a little green. “Lillian, can you open your eyes and look at me?” I asked her.
She swallowed before slowly opening her eyes. “I don’t feel so good,” she mumbled, closing her eyes again. But I saw the relief flood into them when her eyes landed on me. She knew I’d take care of her, despite our small, depraved past together. “I feel like passing out.”
“Alright, baby girl,” I said softly. “Can you put your arms around my neck for me? I’m going to get you out of here, okay?”
“She’s not—”
I glared at her father as she slowly wrapped her arms around my neck. And if she was willing to defy him, I knew whatever was going on was bad.
“She’s not feeling good. Even God doesn’t want His people to suffer just so they can sit through a church sermon,” I growled at him, using his beloved God against him. He clenched his jaw, knowing he couldn’t argue with me—not in front of all of these people when he had a reputation to uphold. “She needs rest.”
I slid my arms beneath her, and the couple I had slipped past quickly moved onto the walkway to allow me out. Father cleared his throat, the sound echoing through the room since he’d done right over the damn microphone. When I turned to look at him, there was concern etched onto his features, but somehow, I knew it was fake as fuck.
He didn’t give a shit about anyone but himself.
“Please let us know how she is doing, Amadeus,” he requested.
I nodded once and strode out of the church, heading straight for my car. I knew Ezra would take care of Solomon until I could get back home. It was how we always operated, and now more than ever, I was thankful to have a friend like Ezra, someone I could rely on in this shitty cult-like community we’d been thrown into. I didn’t even have to ask. If I wasn’t around, he automatically fell into the role of Solomon’s protector.
“Lillian, I need you to tell me what’s going on,” I coaxed as I settled her in my passenger seat, reaching across her to buckle her in. She was looking worse and worse by the minute. I was beginning to contemplate taking her to a hospital.
“Hungry,” she mumbled.
I clenched my jaw, then forced it to relax. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, I ran my fingertips along her jaw, hating how pale she looked. “Then I’ll get you food,” I assured her.
She shook her head, slowly opening her eyes to look up at me. “Not allowed to eat,” she mumbled.Fuck, how long had she been without food? She was spilling everything without even any coaxing. She was normally a hell of a lot more guarded than this.
“Don’t give a fuck. You’remine—not his.” I stood up and shut the passenger door before I rounded my car and got in on the driver’s side. I backed out of my parking spot and pulled onto the mostly deserted highway, heading toward town where I could get her some food. Thankfully, just about everyone in this town attended church, so there was no one getting in my way and driving slow as fuck.
“Why aren’t you allowed to eat?” I asked her, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel.
She softly sighed. “Wednesday night, I got an answer wrong during our Bible study,” she murmured.
I tightened my hand around the steering wheel. “I swear to God, I’m banning Bibles from my fucking house when I move out,” I growled. It wasn’t a joke either. The hatred I felt for Bibles and church and Hymns—nothing could fucking compare to it.
She softly laughed, though it was weak as fuck. Reaching over, she laid her hand on my thigh. She didn’t squeeze, probably too tired and weak to do so. But it meant the goddamn world to me that she was touching me so freely. “Thank you for getting me out of there,” she whispered. “I was going to pass out if I had to stand up any longer.”
I dropped one of my hands from the steering wheel as I eased to a stop at one of the stop signs. I gently squeezed her fingers in mine before rolling forward, gunning my engine again. “I meant it when I said I cared, Lillian. Still trying to wrap my head around that, but I don’t shy away from the shit I feel, and I don’t play games when it comes to my emotions. You can count on me.”
