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He could smell her in here. The soft floral scent of her perfume. Sweet and light, it hung in the air. He bet he’d smell it on the sheets. But he couldn’t look at the bed where they’d made love and slept together.
He didn’t want to be reminded of Natalie’s stunt, either.
He wanted Summer back so bad he felt the need of it in every cell of his body and aching beat of his heart.
He had no idea how to accomplish that when he’d fucked up so spectacularly by not putting her first, by not choosing her above everything else.
It had to be devastating to see her parents fighting like that. He couldn’t imagine how she felt about Miranda asking her to leave. She hadn’t even told him about that. Probably because she’d been consoling him over what Natalie did.
She put him first. She picked him over everything.
He hadn’t meant to hurt Summer. He’d just wanted everyone to have some time to settle down and get back to normal. But how could they when Summer had changed things?
For him, for the better. He liked his new normal with her.
And still he’d sacrificed it for a peace that wouldn’t come without her, because if she wasn’t here, how could anything be resolved between any of them?
How could he breathe easy again without her?
She left him because he’d proven he wasn’t good enough for her. He pushed her right out the door. Because why would she stay with someone who didn’t try each and every day to show her she was wanted and needed and everything to him?
She put her heart on the line, wanting so desperately for him to be the one who never disappointed her the way her mother and grandfather did.
He was just like them.
But he wanted to be better. He wanted to make it up to her. But how? He had no idea where she’d go, or whom she’d turn to.
Well, that wasn’t exactly true. She had Nate, Haley, and her grandfather. She had friends. But somehow, he’d gotten lucky enough to be the one she counted on most.
They’d built their relationship on the understanding that they’d both been hurt by their parents and had trouble trusting others. He swore to always tell her the truth, but he never told her the one thing she deserved to hear.
Now it might be too late.
Would she ever believe him again?
He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a swig. The burn down his throat was nothing compared to the ache in his chest.
He stared at the ocean view he loved so much and wished he was staring at Summer’s beautiful face instead, seeing the joy in her eyes when she smiled at him, because she was always happy to see him.
The ache got worse and so he drank more, hoping to dull the pain that would never leave as long as Summer wasn’t with him.
A knock sounded on the door.
“Go away,” he barked.
“It’s me,” Brooke said. “I heard what happened. Let’s talk.”
“Not now. Just leave me alone.”
“Cody,” she begged.
He turned and shouted over his shoulder, “Just go!”
He’d screwed up and hated himself for it. He felt as if he had no reason to do anything anymore, not if it meant not having Summer by his side.
But maybe if he drank a little more, maybe he wouldn’t feel anything at all for a while. Because this heartache, pain, and misery sucked. And he had nobody to blame for it and the impending hangover but himself.
Chapter Forty-Nine
