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"Do you hear that, baby?" I ask, curling my fingers over my belly. "There must be owls all over here--it's wild."
The baby kicks softly and I smile.
"You like owls?" I ask.
But as I wait for another kick, I hear footsteps in the gravel...and Jesse is coming back out with a big, buff bearded guy in a green flannel. He cocks his head at me and I duck, but it's too late--he already saw me.
"You picked up a chick in Portland?" an unfamiliar voice says--Eli, I guess.
"Uh...yeah," Jesse says. "It's been a while."
Funny how he's talking about me like some illicit hookup and not his forbidden baby-mama.
I hear Eli huff out a breath. "I'm not judging you, man. Being a full-time caregiver is hard, but you're on the other side of it now. Have fun tonight, but just uh...keep it down, alright? Don't wanna give your sweet mom a heart attack."
Jesse laughs. "I'll try."
I listen as his footsteps crunch in the gravel, then I hear a car start. I don't sit up until I'm certain Eli's driven away, and Jesse opens up my door for me.
"Come on in, darlin'," he says.
I glance down the driveway at the retreating lights in the woods. "Are you sure?"
He nods. "I'm sure--mom's asleep. She'll probably stay in bed until late morning...and we can figure out what we're going to tell her."
My stomach roils, though I can't tell if that's just the baby. But I nod and I follow him out of the car, taking my backpack with me. Jesse reaches out to take it from me like a proper gentleman, and I walk in awkwardly with my purse slung over my shoulder and my hands shoved into my denim jacket pockets.
I can't make out much of the house in the darkness, but it still looks cozy. The windows glow with a gold interior light, casting a warm glow on the porch. Jesse leads me inside, and I can hear the creak of the floorboards under our feet.
"Mom's room is on this floor," Jesse whispers. "My room is upstairs, along with the guest room; you can stay there."
Something in me feels a little hurt that he doesn't want me in his room--but I guess we haven't really talked aboutus,even if we've discussed me staying and the two of us sharing custody of our child.
Are things over between us?
I'm terrified to ask.
I follow him up the stairs and to a door on the right, and he pushes it open to reveal a quaint bedroom with a four-poster bed and a window overlooking the forest, the harvest moon still glowing overhead. There's a dresser and a rocking chair in the corner, and the room smells like pine and cedar. I can see the clear touch of Caleb's woodworking all over the place.
It makes me feel so much more guilty for being here.
This...this was a mistake.
"It's beautiful," I whisper. "Caleb's work?"
Jesse's face hardens slightly. I don't think it was intentional--in fact, I'm pretty sure he's trying to hide it--but I see it all the same. He looks...I don't know. Offended?
"Yeah," he says, his voice rough. "He's been fixing up the whole place. Built damn near everything in here before he started working on his house downtown."
"He lives there with Reagan?" I ask.
Why am I asking about Caleb?
"Of course he does," Jesse says. "She's his wife."
I awkwardly chew on my lip, shuffling my feet. "Jesse...what are we going to tell your mom? She hates me."
Jesse sighs. "Do you want to sit down?"
