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I put my hand on my belly, an oddly tiny baby bump there. Of course the baby doesn't look like him, but maybe it will...and it will just make me miss him more. He might not want me in his life; he might have changed his mind about me after he got back to Fern Hollow. Maybe he has someone new, someonebetter, in his life.
But he deserves to know.
I grab my phone and start trying to figure out how to get up to Oregon. The bus will be cheaper than anything else; it's all I can afford right now. I put in my bank info and use the last of my cash to get up to Oregon, and then I flip to my contacts.
And I freeze up.
I should call him. I should tell him I'm on my way. I should probably mention I'm carrying his child and that I plan on having it, whether he wants to be involved or not.
Lots ofshoulds, not a lot ofcans.
Yeah, I'm scared.
Absolutely terrified to talk to him.
My bed is calling to me, and I glance over at it, then back at my phone. I could call Jesse now...or I could go to bed, think about what to say, and wake up early to get on the bus. I need to pack--my focus should be on packing, not on figuring out how to talk to the man who fucked a baby into me.
Wow.
It feels real now that I'm going to tell him.
But for now...packing. And thinking.
And preparing to do the hardest thing I've ever done.
Chapter five
Jesse
I'mtheonlyonethere on the day my mom rings the chemo bell.
It's been six months since she was diagnosed--six months since they rushed her into chemo for Stage III cancer, since my whole life blew up and I came back to Fern Hollow for good. I left Piper behind, and in the chaos of everything, I couldn't bring myself to call her.
I knew I would break down.
I needed her so bad...but Caleb needed me more, and I couldn't tell him what I had been doing with the woman who broke his heart.
Not while mom is sick.
I take her home and make her tea while she sits in the big easy chair by the fire, resting after that last session. She was so excited when they finished up...but now she's feeling the horrible effects. The prognosis is good, but this has been hard on her.
And I've been the one to take care of her through it all.
My siblings here in town all have families now--Gray has Claire and Blythe and their new son Sam, Caleb has Reagan and Ryan, Sadie has Eli and Lily. We were told by the doctor that mom shouldn't be around the kids immediately after chemo, and Reagan is pregnant with her second, so...
...it's fallen to me.
Eli has done a lot to help. His little sister had cancer before he came to Fern Hollow, so he's been the first to pick up the phone whenever I needed something, playing the errand boy for me and mom.
Mostly though?
Mostly it's been me and her.
I've never been this close to her until now.
As I sit across from her, watching her sip her tea, I can't help but feel grateful for this time we've had together. It's been a difficult journey, but it's brought us closer and given me a chance to get to know my mother in a way that I never thought possible.
"Thank you for being here for me, sweetheart," she says, her voice hoarse and weak from the chemo.
