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"I don't know," I ask, turning it around on her. "What do you want us to be?"
Sarah takes a deep breath, turning her head to look out the window. I resist the urge to reach over and touch her, not sure if it would help or hurt the situation.
"I can tell you want a family," she says. "And Jake...I'm just not sure if that's what I want. I don't even think I want a relationship."
My throat constricts, and I cough under my breath to try and keep the ache in my chest at bay. "Neither do I," I mutter. "This is all casual for me."
She sweeps her eyes back toward me. "Really?"
"Yeah," I say. "I figure we've just been playing a game, right? Turns us both on to fuck around like this...so that's what we've been doing. I mean, I've gotta get back to work in a few weeks and it'll take me out of state, so it's not like we could make this happen anyway."
I can feel her gaze on me, but I don't dare look. I don't think I can handle it. I grit my teeth, barely able to stop myself from punching the dashboard.
"Okay," she says. "So...we'll just keep doing this until you leave town, then you'll go and we can...we can..."
She stops.
"You good, Sarah?" I ask, though I don't look at her.
"Yeah," she says, her voice flat. "I'm great."
Chapter sixteen
Sarah
Wespendtherestof the drive mostly in silence, only talking every so often andonlyabout the most polite topics. It feels like I've ruined everything.
But maybe it's better that way. Maybe I should let him go now--sever the connection while it's easy.
It feels a little better when we get to the wedding venue in Willow Creek, an old Victorian home on the lake. The caterers are already unloading, and I rush to get out of the truck to coordinate with them on where they're supposed to set up. Soon, I'm swept up in the whirl of my work--talking to vendors, pointing at where stuff is supposed to go. Jake, to his credit, plays it cool and doesn't make things awkward as he goes wherever I order him, muscles flexing as he carries supplies all over the property.
The bride--a pretty blonde named Emily--arrives at noon and I meet up with her to take her to the bridal cottage, a little guesthouse where the whole bridal party can get ready. Emily is beaming with excitement as I lead her to the cottage. She's gushing about how perfect everything looks and how she can't wait to see it all come together. I smile and nod, trying to focus on the task at hand instead of the knot that's forming in my stomach.
I'm about to leave them to it, knowing the bride is in good hands, when she grabs me by the wrist.
"Hey, Sarah," she says. "Are you okay?"
I frown, meeting her eyes. I can see the concern written in her features, and even though we don't know each other that well, I suddenly feel like I'm going to cry.
"Um...yeah," I say, but my eyes are already filled with tears. "I just..."
Her face falls and she reaches out to hug me. Suddenly, I'm sobbing into her shoulder, feeling like a fool for breaking down in front of a near stranger--and my client, at that.
"It's okay," she murmurs, rubbing circles on my back. "Let it out. Whatever it is, it's okay."
I don't know how long we stand there, me crying and her comforting me, but eventually I pull away, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. I'm even more embarrassed when I realize the bridal party has come over, too, five concerned women and someone I'm pretty sure is Emily's mom standing with me.
"I'm sorry," I say, feeling embarrassed. "I don't know what came over me."
Emily just smiles sympathetically. "It's fine, honey. Tell us who made you cry and we'll fight him for you."
I laugh through my tears, swiping at my nose. "I should really let you get back to getting ready..."
"No, no, no. Don't even think about it," Emily insists, grabbing my arm. "We're not letting you go until you tell us what happened."
I glance at Jake through the window, where he's unloading some more materials. His shirt is soaked with sweat, and I can see every line of muscle underneath.
And yes, he's gorgeous...but it makes this even harder that I know what a good guy he is.
