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I’m about to speak when Guard holds up his palm in my direction to keep me quiet. Then there it is: a majestic eagle taking off in flight and circling overhead several times before winging off.
“We’re where we’re supposed to be,” Guard says. He scans the area and finds two huge boulders, where he sets down his stuff and climbs up, then motions for me to join him.
I climb up on the rock and sit next to him. “What are we doing here?”
“Do you remember the day I invited you into the Pride?”
I nod.
“That day, you confessed all your sins to me in my office. You told me about the drug shit, the job-hopping and petty theft, the joyrides in other people’s cars. You laid it all out.”
I don’t know how to respond, so I continue nodding.
“You didn’t seem to have a problem talking to me then. Wanna tell me what you’re keeping from me now?”
It’s like a slap in the face, and I blink at his words. “I’m not lying to you,” I choke out. God, the Pride is my life. My chest tightens.
“Never said you’re lying.” Relief washes over me. “I’m not blind, Priest. I can see something’s bothering you. Normally, I’d let you work through it on your own, but I can sense this is different. You’re getting worse, not better. Ghost and I are concerned. When a brother’s having a rough go of it, we step in. Consider this me stepping in.”
“It’s nothing.”
“I disagree.” Guard waits for me to speak. What do I say? It’s a girl and I can’t have her? How fucking lame is that? I stare blankly at him. “Okay. Let me give this a shot,” he says. “You met a girl.”
“I meet lots of women,” I respond quickly, trying to throw him off track, but that doesn’t work.
“Not like this one. You can’t get her out of your head. So you’re throwing yourself into work to exhaust yourself so you can sleep at night. Problem is, she haunts your dreams. I can see the bags under your eyes. In our line of work, I need you sharp.”
“I’ve never let you down.”
“And with your dying breath, you’d fight for the Pride. I’m not worried about your loyalty. I’m worried about this.” He taps my temple. He changes tack. “Is she a good woman?”
“Yeah.” I remember those violet eyes and her beautiful smile. A heaviness comes over me.
“What’s the problem, then?”
“I’m not good for her.”
“You’re one of the best men I know. I trust you with my life,” Guard says, clasping a hand on my shoulder. That’s high praise coming from Guard.
“I come from garbage. Fucked up my whole life. Quinn has it all together. We don’t fit,” I try to explain.
“She tell you that?”
“Nah. When I started telling her about the Pride, she was happy I have my brothers. No judgment.”
“You’re losing me, brother. She’s into you, you’re into her. Help me out here,” Guard says with confusion.
“My past came back to haunt me. They came for me! They could have come for Camille, but between Steady and the crew, she’s covered. There was no one else, so they came for me. I deserved it with what I put Camille through, and better it was me than anyone else.” I see Guard is about to jump in, but I keep going. “I had no one, so they took me. What if next time, they take someone I care about?”
“Quinn?” The light is dawning. Guard is grasping my dilemma now.
“I’m okay with me paying for my sins, but not her. Never her,” I say adamantly.
It’s Guard’s turn to be silent for a while. When he finally responds, he says, “What you’re saying is that you don’t trust the Pride to protect your woman.”
“God! No!” I shout. “Quinn shouldn’t have to need protecting.”
“Let me remind you that robberies, murders, pickpockets, break-ins, rapes, and accidents happen everywhere. Shit can happen at any time. Christ, she could be walking home from the grocery store and get hit by a bus,” Guard says.
